The Journal
Serving the Metropolitan Area
Since 1872
August 17th
WHY NOT the BOTH?
By Jack Parnell - retired Congressman and Independent Presidential
candidate
Syndicated
by Acme Features
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MMM"...and
then the kerosene M Is brought down from the castle M By insurance men who go...
MM MCheck to see nobody is escaping to
Desolation row..." |
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- Robert Zimmerman |
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If you want a society
as furnishes illusions of the immortality... good!... but not at the expense of
more gumment... (bad -
except that as regulates those other people!)... best way of doing so's to hand life over to the
life-insurance companies.
Insurance people run
our lives! Big Data and our hopeless quest for immortality's allowed those underwriters
in the sky to nullify most everything as makes a life worth living (save those
vices already proscribed by the pee ceisters and
plague sisters, long after the necessity is gone) out of some fear someone
might fall down, scrape their knee and sue! Easter Seals programs for kids in
the wheelchairs! Kaput! Chinese New Year's parade in San Frisco, Mardi
Gras in New Orleans... going!... Saturnalia, long gone, too – long before the
Covid poked its long nose under Don Jones’ tent! Ice skating rinks, swimming
pools, mostly run off... even that artist whose paintings inspired projectile vomiting,
causing some "victim" to blow out an artery and sue the gallery!
Police and Good Samaritans bankrupted by relatives and lawyers of suicides as
jump off freeway overpasses stand by, now, and record the tragedy on their
phones for uploading to You Tube. Corporations packing boards with rank
incompetents, bankrupts and common crooks because intelligent and honest people
refuse exposure to the personal liability provisions liberals put in the business
laws of some states.
Don’t count on the
courts for help… their backlogs are up to five years, sometimes seven, now…
with all of the plague litigation, not to mention the soaring murder rates
which, here and there are causing promoters of getting folks together events to
cancel out due to the proliferation of active shooters. Some of it valid, some not. But neither political party
will let the insurance companies go out of business like the corner diner –
they’re too big to fail, like the banks (chuckle, chuckle!). They’ll just raise their rates.
"The best are
the first to go," acknowledged business insurance lawyer Lyle Sparks, the
rest park their net worth in the Caymans and such other places as also welcome
drug dealers and dictators. And we wonder why there's such criminalization of
business and corporatization of crime these days!
Our
Insurance-Litigation Complex has been round almost as long as some strains of
the venereal disease; credit Kaiser Bill in Germany for lifting it up, as an
alternative to the Communism, in the '80s or so... the 1880's. A
previous President snarfed up that Massachusetts Mormon’s scheme to lock up
them as don't buy sufficient insurance; Brother Tillerman accuses it of
contributing to arson, malpractice, fraud and, even, murder. Mr. Gilder merely
considers it a liberal plot... though I think liberals, especially the
neo-variety, worse than Commies... a "moral hazard" that
depresses productivity and desensitizes the economy to what ails it.
"Viewed as a
substitute for adequate public social welfare spending," this old JFK
liberal, Lester Thurow, contended, "private
suits have a certain logic, but unfortunately it is an inefficient logic."
Since frivolous
malpractice suits get settled because it's cheaper than litigating, insurers
just hike malpractice premiums on all doctors, good or bad. Gynecologists and
cardiologists seek better careers in mail-order nutritional supplements; their
former patients as can afford so go to Pakistanis or the Venezuelans in the
strip malls. The rest haunt emergency rooms of public hospitals, go on TV
weeping and rattlin' the charity can or,
dada-run-out-o'-luck, just die.
Now, to hear 'em
scratch and hiss at one another, one might almost believe the lawyers and
insurers mortal enemies... the reality is that they are equal participants in a
complicated dance, and the public is the floor their hooves tap-tap across. That Flo from that company is doin’ the nasty with your favorite daytime TV ambulance
chaser, while the Geico lizard’s pleasurin’ Tonya
Harding in a sort of mutual admiration society whereas the insurers blame
greedy lawyers in public and... where politically feasible... the civil justice
system. Citing a RAND study that found lawyers kept an average 63% of damages
awarded in asbestos-related cases, columnist Guy Wright blamed juries. "There
are many alienated people to whom serving on a jury in a damage suit is a
chance to hit the hated establishment in the pocketbook."
In one case... in Alabama,
the Mecca of outrageous judgments... an idjut boy won
nine hundred thousand dollars for the burns suffered by having stuck his finger
in an electric socket, and a rejected cheerleader candidate sued the Vestavia
Hills school for the "humiliation and anguish". As for California...
this is the state where an effin' burglar,
as fell through the roof of a school he was ripping off, sued and won... another
jury awarded some crybaby as claimed not to understand the warning on cigarette
packs twenty-eight billion dollars.
Even patriotic art
gets gummed up by the litigation. That old favorite... Washington crossing the
Delaware... took a hit from the decent citizens of Columbus, Georgia as sued to
get it out of textbooks when a bureaucrat alleged Georgie's bullocks were
hanging out'n the stall! Then, some idjut claimed it gave him the notion that
standing up in boats was safe, so, when his client fell overboard, it was the
fault of the painter, Emanuel Leutze... and since he was safely dead, the
National Museum's deep (taxpayer) pockets were ripe for the plucking!
But, speaking of
culture and the First Amendment, it's the insurance companies most responsible
for taking us back to 1984. Thanks to the poisoned Apples of dot-com technology
(and a little help from friends like the NSA), they know what we eat and drink,
what we read, what we think about in bed (if we've ever logged onto the
Internet or commiserated over the telephone or been red-light photosnapped in the back of a taxi with a certain
somebody), whether we've got AIDS or itchy feet or chewed gum back in third
grade. Since gumment made it a crime not to have the
right automobile insurance, we're complicit when insurers deny drivers based...
not on their driving records... but on credit and marital status, on frequency
of job changes, residence (meaning race) and membership in the right kind of
church, astrological sign or just whatever.
Those advertisements
for the company as installs spyware in the Subaru and doles out discounts to “good”
drivers who obey the speed limits even when Junior’s suffering explosive diarrhea
or bleeding out on the way to the hospital after being shot by some malcontent…
they’re not funny anymore. They’re our
reality! Them devices forced on drivers
by some companies beep and send signals back to the corporation to raise rates
when you brake, but no penalty accrues if you just run the red light or run
over the old lady still in the crosswalk.
Then the slippery
slope began sliding right down through healthcare and towards those in the
Congress as advocate replacing all jobless compensation with admonitions that
workers buy private unemployment insurance policies with premiums determined by
whatever little nuggets of dero are provided them by
the happy gnomes of Larry Ellison and Peter Thiel’s Big Data and the
data-mining minions of the NSA. What
could go wrong with that?
"Insurers are
dictating people's lifestyles and acting as moral censors," concluded
Insurance Commissioner Tim Ryles of Georgia who,
shortly after, lost his job owing to insurers pouring millions into the
campaign of a born-again competitor, whose own abhorrence of sinful people
behind steering wheels when the Rapture comes meshed more with their philosophy
of turning over bad moral risks to the state for prosecution, and the moral
hazard of the Tribulation days be damned.
Now, after all this,
you might think I'd make it criminal to practice law or underwrite insurance
policies, as Mr. Terry Johnston, of California, and certain high Democratic
mucky mucks advocate. Tempting as that would be, it's not Catfish. But - as to
them as cry out for tort reform or insurance reform, my point is: "why
not the both?"
Oh... and them
burglars, suing those they rob for inj’ries suffered on the "job"? By
all means, give 'em all the free medical treatment they're entitled to... as in
the Eighth Amendment as applicable to that place in which they should be
residing, and for a good long time...
Jail.
CLICK the CATFISH to go
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