The Journal

 

Serving the Metropolitan Area

 

Since 1872

 

 

August 24th

 

FOR our CHILDREN, our CHILDREN'S CHILDREN and for all them CREEPY LI'L MOUSKA-EARS GROWIN' OUT'N THEIR BLESSED LI'L BACKSIDES!

 

By Jack Parnell - retired Congressman and Independent Presidential candidate

 

Syndicated by Acme Features

 

          Getting elected's much a quality of using right code in public, them right-sounding words as soothe the Squeamish, without giving appearance of effeminacy (unless your district's Cape Cod, Hollywood or Greenwich Village).  That and, always, doing something! And, preferably, for the children.

          In the code. Semantical, political, genetic. Code

          That teacher down in Florida as told her five-year-olds there warn't no Santa Claus... that Santa up in Michigan fired for telling this brat he wasn't going to bring him a gun for Christmas, no effin' way... that Alaska pipeline worker, John Moore, born with immunities to cold, mosquitoes or some such, as protested having his genetic code patented by UCLA without his consent, Thirteenth Amendment be damned... all were absolutely right to do so, but the principal and mall manager and the gene-splicers were right, in their own way, too. The business of schools and scientists is makin' monsters, that of malls is selling guns to adults to let lie around so their kids can use ‘em to pick up and shoot up their schools and... if nobody's noticed as yet... we fought a Cold War and won over the principle so, by Fightin' Bob LaFollette and Patrick Henry, the CNC is gonna win this Code War, too!

          We Americans do some things well, others… not so well. We lead the world in miniaturization, information, regime change (speed and duration of, if not the subsequent, less-than-competent occupation), spectacle, public and private debt, replacement of human labor with AI, robots and cheap foeigners, Coronavirus infections and bulldada.  We may trail the Portuguese in life expectancy as a result of some falling off due to plague and Mother Weather or the Cubans as regards infant mortality, but other countries, amazed, still flock over thisaways (now that, as of last year’s Don Jones Index, our democracy... relative to others... isn’t getting any better but has stopped getting worse) to learn how to Disnificate their own miserable principalities, like that Sultan north of Australia, building a replica of Los Angeles on his hot little island - only with no sex shops, no pork or alcohol, no garbage... and no Mexicans! We demand our politics and solutions be entertaining - disturbing phenomena like murder and unemployment medicalized and The Children engorged with Entropic superstitions until finally turned loose upon a nation withered of mind, body and spirit, barely surviving off machines and scrofulous technologies, wholly at the mercy of these same vengeful untermenschen...

          Which is another reason why the CNC is going into twenty-four pumped up and hungry.  A quivering, shivering, sinking slice of Americans with common sense, formerly just plain bored with Joe Biden now treat him with contempt, but remain terrified of Djonald or any ‘Publican as can climb the greasy pole and throw its ordure down at us from the White House balcony..

          Forget red or blue geopolitics or, as a few cites in The Week of January 21st promote, the urban-rural divide... forget race and class and religion, uber-digitalist Nicholas Negroponte advises, the real divide's generational... in people or computers. Who needs worry about starvation and terror in Mogadishu or the soybean blight when AI will recycle classic movies with dubbed in audio and video content, when personal computers are being designed no bigger than a set of cufflinks and the planetaria fourth graders get hauled to are full of Star Trek memorabilia and Pink Floyd (post-Syd Barrett!) muzak, in what Kent Kaltus grouches is "a cynical attempt to make science fun!"  (As well as old!)  Up next?  Mark Zuckerberg’s VR cacaverse in which Americans can interact with other Americans (and, soon enough, foreigners too) at a safe distance, so long as it doesn’t concern them that these Other Americans are cartoons.

          Check that?  Cartoons!

          And, after the President's Science Office... that extraterritorial, demi-Cabinet post that came into being with the Space Force out'n all them Star Wars sequels, subsequently retained by those Reform America donkeys!... said that middle aged, downsized steelworkers and rope salesman should start up biotech companies, the Roper pollster people as much as made the sign of the cross over our ‘conomy even before the plague: "If it does not burst outright, the euphoric bubble in the public mood today should at least deflate considerably."

          See this ol’ DJI for confirmation!

          Take your Facebook stock… please!  You thought as it must be another Amazon or Apple when you went out on margin a’fore it shrunk near as fast as MicroTime as its CLO (chief looting officers) get marched off to prison or... even worse... to mandatory attendance at woke conclaves at small, expensive colleges.  Just as well have grabbed all you could grab of Game Stop when the Game Stop stock was “plateauing”, as they say, and headed towards the sub-sub-basement where the coffins for Crypto are being stored.  Elon Musk figured out the scam and backed away from it like a rat from a snake, before being mesmerized by the Twitterverse, on which perhaps half his billions were X”ed out.

          "Tryin' to fit a size nine shoe on a size eleven foot," Ed at Mason's Bootery over on the road to Bowling Green summed up the technology squeeze.

          Them regulators thought they were all doing us all a favor... breaking up Microsoft for Jeff Bezos to just buy up the source code, while His Gatesness stepped out of the shadows of retirement, using that payoff to sew up Time-Warner-AOL's streaming technology and make a prophet of Bruce Springsteen... fifty seven audio and three hundred video channels playing infomercials, Gilligan reruns, ranting preachers and Japanese technotoons, worse than the busted-up telephone company for the dinner-hour telesolicitors (see yet another Don Jones Index) as get round do-not-call lists because part of their corporate package is phone service. Sven Birkerts, author of "Gutenberg Elegies" fears media corporations are "disappearing" unwanted ideas as books, increasingly, are bowdlerized, pulped and replaced by bits of electronic data parceled out and censored by "efficient and prosperous information managers, living in the shallows of what it means to be human and not knowing the difference."

          Heard the one about the secret agents planting cyber-viruses in e-books of those anti-Trump John Bolton tomes?  No you didn’t… the President having scorched his bridges with the military, the intelligence community and the Justice Department  (they’re all Deep State now, as... go figure!... Don Jones advised one year ago)…

          Back in the '90s, science fiction writer Jeff Noon pondered growing human mouths on the nether end of rodents, plugging their tails into the wall for use as a biophones... like in the Flintstones. "Only God should be allowed to create a mouse and, also, a human ear," he objected, being at heart a liberal futurwurster, "never mind a mouse with a human ear attached. We don't like monsters."

          But, fact is, we're fascinated by them.  Trust Disney to have its team of geneticists in the basement of the “under-renovations” Cinderella’s Castle, testing apps to put mouseka-ears… the big and black and floppy kind… on human beings.  We have entire prison and mental health industries churning out monsters; universities with big endowments graduating monsters of science, culture, of politics, modern art and monstrously naïve philosophies left and right and beyond known philosophies... so long as they are interesting, we'll applaud them, buy them, vote for them. And if ours is a free society, shouldn't those as have the means indulge their tastes for the monstrousities?

          Socialism, based on envy, collapsed… sorry, Millenials, sorry Bernie, sorry Squad… because even the poorest of poor, physically enslaved wretches believe... deep, deep at that center of that soul, where even the longest, sharpest needles of dictatorship cannot reach... that they'll someday (through hard work, luck or lotteries) pull themselves up by their flip-flops so's to afford boots, a house, even a mutated Dutch or Rumanian Monstrous Mouse with an ear growing from its back, if that's what they've been conditioned to desire. Marxism was poisoned from its root – dictatorships of the proletariat had to fail after a while because it’s more fun to be a dictator than a prole and factional scuffles over who gets to dictate and who must obey inevitably turn chaotic, then violent, then the system collapses (as did the USSR after Afghanistan). Call it delusion (an unwonted faith in Donald Trump, or God, Musk or lotteries), deny it at mortal peril... sooner than late, even jellyfish DNA glow-in-the-dark manimals will be supplanted by man-machine hybrids and a whole new kettle of artificial fish.

          Meanwhile, they’ll have hate… “low yen hate” as the Japaneses say; hate for them as are worse off than they as, for example, the Ukrainians among Russians as Mad Vlad’s desperate ploy to save his dictatorship from his own disgruntled proles decrees a flinging of distractions – up to an including nuclear war.

          I will give President Bush and his successors… the Urban Spaceman, the psycho and the Urban Spaceman’s cup-bearer… their due for banning the human cloning research in America as our former Entertainer-in-Chief and present Distracted Joe seem about to restore (cases in point – was Trump’s uber-campy aide de camp Steven Miller a younger clone of Vlad Putin?...  Mark Zuckerberg an animated simulation of the animated online car parts icon?). Of course the biotech companies and the cyberkackers are opening up labs in places like the Baltics and Balkans, where science comes cheap and civilians are more tolerant of the mistakes as get made with any new technology (like them Russian coronavirus vaccines as killed off most of Murmansk). Kids with glowin' mice or elbows growin' out of their backs have always wandered through the backroads of Transylvania and Lithuania, goes with the territory.

          Once they wash up on our own shores... and they will!... we'll classify them as subhuman Xeno (like the "ape-men" bred by Professor Chiarelli, of Florence). Them as get uppity, we revoke their patents! Them as behave we put to work emptying bedpans an' frying hamburgers in place of all them Mexicans we’ve deported back to the armies of the narcoterrorists... might even let 'em vote. (It'd be the Catfish way of countering all them nursing homes as register their vast vacancy of voting vegetables... unproductive, often unresponsive... proxying their demented behinds to the Democrats or Republicans, long as they can draw a machine-abetted breath.)

          At the height of the plague, the liberals bleated out: “Trust science!” which, in the manner of life-saving vaxxes and even those uncomfortable masks, was a better policy than bleach, horse tranquilizers and Jewish space lasers.  Better,,, but not infallible.

          As said Jon Jerde, who designed Universal's fake LA in the middle of the real LA that the Sultan borrowed off'n: "...the theme of Los Angeles is that there is no theme. The fact that Los Angeles has no theme, as a theme, is a brilliant idea."

 

CLICK the CATFISH to go to PAST and PRESENT EPISODES of "BLACK HELICOPTERS" and to OTHER JACK PARNELL COLUMNS

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