The Journal
Serving the Metropolitan Area
Since 1872
August 24th
FOR our CHILDREN, our
CHILDREN'S CHILDREN and for all them CREEPY LI'L MOUSKA-EARS GROWIN' OUT'N
THEIR BLESSED LI'L BACKSIDES!
By Jack Parnell - retired Congressman and Independent Presidential
candidate
Syndicated by Acme Features
Getting elected's much a quality of using right code in
public, them right-sounding words as soothe the Squeamish, without giving
appearance of effeminacy (unless your district's Cape Cod, Hollywood or
Greenwich Village). That and, always, doing
something! And, preferably, for the children.
In the code.
Semantical, political, genetic. Code…
That teacher down in
Florida as told her five-year-olds there warn't no
Santa Claus... that Santa up in Michigan fired for telling this brat he wasn't
going to bring him a gun for Christmas, no effin'
way... that Alaska pipeline worker, John Moore, born with immunities to cold,
mosquitoes or some such, as protested having his genetic code patented by UCLA
without his consent, Thirteenth Amendment be damned... all were absolutely
right to do so, but the principal and mall manager and the gene-splicers were
right, in their own way, too. The business of schools and scientists is makin'
monsters, that of malls is selling
guns to adults to let lie around so their kids can use ‘em to pick up and shoot
up their schools and... if nobody's noticed as yet...
we fought a Cold War and won over the principle so, by Fightin'
Bob LaFollette and Patrick Henry, the CNC is gonna
win this Code War, too!
We Americans do some
things well, others… not so well. We lead the world in miniaturization,
information, regime change (speed and duration of, if not the subsequent,
less-than-competent occupation), spectacle, public and private debt, replacement
of human labor with AI, robots and cheap foeigners, Coronavirus infections and bulldada.
We may trail the Portuguese in life
expectancy as a result of some falling off due to plague and Mother Weather or
the Cubans as regards infant mortality, but other countries, amazed, still
flock over thisaways (now that, as of last year’s Don Jones
Index, our democracy... relative to others... isn’t getting any better but has stopped getting worse) to learn how to Disnificate their own miserable principalities, like that
Sultan north of Australia, building a replica of Los Angeles on his hot little
island - only with no sex shops, no pork or alcohol, no garbage... and no
Mexicans! We demand our politics and solutions be entertaining -
disturbing phenomena like murder and unemployment medicalized and The Children
engorged with Entropic superstitions until finally turned loose upon a nation
withered of mind, body and spirit, barely surviving off machines and scrofulous
technologies, wholly at the mercy of these same vengeful untermenschen...
Which
is another reason why the CNC is going into twenty-four pumped up and hungry.
A quivering, shivering, sinking slice of
Americans with common sense, formerly just plain bored with Joe Biden now treat
him with contempt, but remain terrified of Djonald or
any ‘Publican as can climb the greasy pole and throw its ordure down at us from
the White House balcony..
Forget red or blue geopolitics
or, as a few cites in The Week of January 21st promote, the
urban-rural divide... forget race and class and religion, uber-digitalist
Nicholas Negroponte advises, the real divide's generational... in people or
computers. Who needs worry about starvation and terror in Mogadishu or the
soybean blight when AI will recycle classic movies with dubbed in audio and
video content, when personal computers are being designed no bigger than a set
of cufflinks and the planetaria fourth graders get
hauled to are full of Star Trek memorabilia and Pink Floyd (post-Syd Barrett!) muzak, in what Kent Kaltus grouches
is "a cynical attempt to make science fun!" (As well as old!) Up next? Mark Zuckerberg’s VR
cacaverse in which Americans can interact with other Americans
(and, soon enough, foreigners too) at a safe distance, so
long as it doesn’t concern them that these Other Americans are cartoons.
Check that? Cartoons!
And, after the
President's Science Office... that extraterritorial, demi-Cabinet post that
came into being with the Space Force out'n all them
Star Wars sequels, subsequently retained by those Reform America donkeys!...
said that middle aged, downsized steelworkers and rope salesman should start up
biotech companies, the Roper pollster people as much as made the sign of the
cross over our ‘conomy even before the plague: "If
it does not burst outright, the euphoric bubble in the public mood today should
at least deflate considerably."
See this ol’ DJI for confirmation!
Take your Facebook
stock… please! You thought as it must be
another Amazon or Apple when you went out on margin a’fore
it shrunk near as fast as MicroTime as its CLO (chief
looting officers) get marched off to prison or... even worse... to mandatory
attendance at woke conclaves at small, expensive colleges. Just as well have grabbed all you could grab
of Game Stop when the Game Stop stock was “plateauing”,
as they say, and headed towards the sub-sub-basement where the coffins for
Crypto are being stored. Elon Musk figured out the scam and backed away from it like
a rat from a snake, before being mesmerized by the Twitterverse,
on which perhaps half his billions were “X”ed
out.
"Tryin' to fit a size nine shoe on a size eleven foot," Ed at Mason's Bootery over
on the road to Bowling Green summed up the technology squeeze.
Them regulators
thought they were all doing us all a favor... breaking up Microsoft for Jeff
Bezos to just buy up the source code, while His Gatesness
stepped out of the shadows of retirement, using that payoff to sew up
Time-Warner-AOL's streaming technology and make a prophet of Bruce
Springsteen... fifty seven audio and three hundred video channels playing
infomercials, Gilligan reruns, ranting preachers and Japanese technotoons, worse than the busted-up telephone company for
the dinner-hour telesolicitors (see yet another Don
Jones Index) as get round do-not-call lists because part of their
corporate package is phone service.
Sven Birkerts, author of "Gutenberg
Elegies" fears media corporations are "disappearing" unwanted
ideas as books, increasingly, are bowdlerized, pulped and replaced by bits of
electronic data parceled out and censored by "efficient and prosperous
information managers, living in the shallows of what it means to be human and
not knowing the difference."
Heard the one about
the secret agents planting cyber-viruses in e-books of those anti-Trump John
Bolton tomes? No you didn’t… the
President having scorched his bridges with the military, the intelligence
community and the Justice Department (they’re all Deep State now, as... go
figure!... Don Jones advised one year ago)…
Back in the '90s,
science fiction writer Jeff Noon pondered growing human mouths on the nether
end of rodents, plugging their tails into the wall for use as a biophones... like in the Flintstones. "Only God should
be allowed to create a mouse and, also, a human ear," he objected, being
at heart a liberal futurwurster, "never
mind a mouse with a human ear attached. We don't like monsters."
But, fact is, we're
fascinated by them. Trust Disney to have
its team of geneticists in the basement of the “under-renovations” Cinderella’s
Castle, testing apps to put mouseka-ears… the big and
black and floppy kind… on human beings. We have entire prison and mental health
industries churning out monsters; universities with big endowments graduating
monsters of science, culture, of politics, modern art and monstrously naïve
philosophies left and right and beyond known philosophies... so long as they
are interesting, we'll applaud them,
buy them, vote for them. And if ours is a free
society, shouldn't those as have the means indulge their tastes for the monstrousities?
Socialism, based on
envy, collapsed… sorry, Millenials, sorry Bernie,
sorry Squad… because even the poorest of poor, physically enslaved wretches
believe... deep, deep at that center of that soul, where even the longest,
sharpest needles of dictatorship cannot reach... that they'll someday (through
hard work, luck or lotteries) pull themselves up by their flip-flops so's to afford boots, a house, even a mutated Dutch or
Rumanian Monstrous Mouse with an ear growing from its back, if that's what
they've been conditioned to desire. Marxism was poisoned from its root –
dictatorships of the proletariat had to fail after a while because it’s
more fun to be a dictator than a prole and factional
scuffles over who gets to dictate and who must obey inevitably turn chaotic,
then violent, then the system collapses (as did the USSR after Afghanistan).
Call it delusion (an unwonted faith in Donald Trump, or God, Musk or lotteries), deny it at mortal peril... sooner than late, even
jellyfish DNA glow-in-the-dark manimals will be
supplanted by man-machine hybrids and a whole new kettle of artificial fish.
Meanwhile, they’ll
have hate… “low yen hate” as the Japaneses
say; hate for them as are worse off than
they as, for example, the Ukrainians among Russians as Mad Vlad’s
desperate ploy to save his dictatorship from his own disgruntled proles decrees a flinging of distractions – up to an
including nuclear war.
I will give
President Bush and his successors… the Urban Spaceman, the psycho and the Urban
Spaceman’s cup-bearer… their due for banning the human cloning research in
America as our former Entertainer-in-Chief and present Distracted Joe seem about
to restore (cases in point – was Trump’s uber-campy
aide de camp Steven Miller a younger clone of Vlad Putin?... Mark Zuckerberg an
animated simulation of the animated online car parts icon?). Of course the biotech companies and the cyberkackers are opening
up labs in places like the Baltics and Balkans, where science comes cheap and
civilians are more tolerant of the mistakes as get made with any new technology
(like them Russian coronavirus vaccines as killed off
most of Murmansk). Kids with glowin' mice or elbows growin' out of their backs have always wandered
through the backroads of Transylvania and Lithuania, goes with the territory.
Once they wash up on
our own shores... and they will!... we'll classify
them as subhuman Xeno (like the "ape-men" bred
by Professor Chiarelli, of Florence). Them as get uppity,
we revoke their patents! Them as behave we put to work emptying
bedpans an' frying hamburgers in place of all them Mexicans we’ve deported back
to the armies of the narcoterrorists... might even
let 'em vote. (It'd be the Catfish way of countering all them nursing homes as
register their vast vacancy of voting vegetables... unproductive, often
unresponsive... proxying their demented behinds to
the Democrats or Republicans, long as they can draw a machine-abetted breath.)
At the height of the
plague, the liberals bleated out: “Trust science!” which, in the manner of
life-saving vaxxes and even those uncomfortable
masks, was a better policy than bleach, horse tranquilizers and Jewish space
lasers. Better,,, but not infallible.
As said Jon Jerde, who designed Universal's fake LA in the middle of
the real LA that the Sultan borrowed off'n: "...the
theme of Los Angeles is that there is no theme.
The fact that Los Angeles has no theme, as
a theme, is a brilliant idea."
CLICK the CATFISH to go
to PAST and PRESENT EPISODES of "BLACK HELICOPTERS" and to OTHER JACK PARNELL COLUMNS |