The Journal
Serving the Metropolitan Area
Since 1872
August 28th
ENTER THE DRAGON!
By Jack Parnell - retired Congressman and Independent Presidential
candidate
Syndicated
by Acme Features
"I’ve
always rather admired the Chinese. I suppose
that’s because most of them are so far away."
-Charles Bukowski (1982)
"When
the duck drops, say the magic word and win a hundred dollars!"
-
Groucho Marx (symbolism being cheaper in the 50's)
Carl Sagan and Jodie
Foster got their "Contact" wrong... warn't Hitler's
speechifying as kicked off this televised Symbolic Age of ours’n,
but good ol' Philo T. Farnsworth out of Beaver, Utah, throwing sixty seconds'
broadcast of a good ol’ US dollar sign which... even flying out at light-speed,
would have made it only halfway to Proxima Centauri
two years later before losing a lot of credibility, back here,
back there in 1929.
Symbols make us sit
up, clap, weep, slobber like Pavlovist dogs (or bark,
like 2022 candidates), salute... and vote! Remember Willie
Horton, Nixon's bad shave and that little girl picking flowers when Goldwater's
nuke went off? That rat-puke Georgia cracker flashing doctored pictures of
one-arm, no-legs veteran Max Cleland with Saddam and Osama to get elected in
that session between the older Bush brother tending towards proximity to
Confederate flags to out-nword John McCain and
America's 911-inspired homosexual marriage panic four years after, simultaneous
to Dubya sellin' off our port security to Dubai while
Johnno was reduced to crawling to the Christers for
forgiveness – so’s he could get his ass whipped, next time out, by the Urban Spaceman
and still turn tail on Trump when time came to? Who then sold America down the river to Spook
Central, them Deep Statesmen Blue Meanies of Vietnam,
Latin America and points darker as now get regarded as blue state heroes in
comparison to the ex-President with the red cap and funny hair as told us how
much he loves poorly educated Americans. Hillary barked until Mister Trump turned into
President Trump – partly as a consequence of Russia fomenting those Halloween
FBI e-mail attacks, but mostly as a consequence of her own arrogance and scheme
to out-cozy Djonald Unchained’s
cozy bears who would have had Number 45 re-elected but for his own toxic
personality as fomented (but slipped away from leading) that march on the
Capitol, wherein his MAGAmilitia in their red hats
and symbolic “Stop the Steal” chants (slogans being the kissin’
to cousins) briefly conquered, then lost when it became apparent that Their
President wasn’t going to pass the word to the armed forces to pull the plug on
democracy. Djonald
UnHinged and Mike UnHanged thus
vacated the White House and left it in the paws of that tired old dog as lost Afghanistan
to several hundred terrorist militias, some of whom migrated thisaway to blow up half of downtown Racine, arsonate the already-lethal fire season in Los Angeles and level
the St. Louis arch… ‘mongst other
adventures…
Symbols!
Orientalism, that’s
what this durty ol’ white racist calls it!, sibilant
symbolism – baldly stereotypical dastardship missing
only carpets, pointy slippers and eunuchs (hopefully unmarried) slithering
about with daggers behind damask curtains of dragons breathing opium fire. Maybe
some wicker furniture, a peacock or two, some Danish cartoons, Fu Manchu and an
open can of gasoline. Disasters waiting to occur.
"It isn't
important that the words mean anything," counsels advertising man Tim
Mayfield, an expert at devising so called "Japlish"
to sell cars and electronics. "The important thing is that they sound
good."
Morty
Scow, that California Congressman as displays Catfishiscist
tendencies now and again, calls it Glyphic Thinking. GT simmers underneath the
crust of Western reason like a vein of Aztec gold (or
Law and order's halfway
glyphic already, being as some of those entrusted with homeland security have
strolled beyond catching homeland robbers and killers to prognosticating thoughtcrimes. Mr. James Quinn Wilson's theory of broken
windows makes the sense to some... if you prohibit broken windows, public
urination, panhandling, graffiti, as the theory goes, Scott Peterson, Martha
Stewart, Steve Bannon and the Sandusky Strangler will
take their business elsewhere, throwing curses over their shoulders like Andy
f*ing Cuomo!
Might
fly. Peterson seens
‘bout to be let out of jail on technicalities and Martha, after serving her
time, nearly upset Snoop Dogg’s dogteam
in the last Puppy Bowl on Super Sunday weekend.
Symbolism, strained
through News Frontiers of Contempt, breeds such chaining... employment of one
despicable characteristic to despicabalize another,
tangential trait, property or person. Back in Gold Rush San Francisco, came
this politician Denis Kearny, famous for blaming everything on the Chinese... attaching
riders to chuck out Chinks to every damn scrap of legislation he could get his
paws around. It would seem even Orientals are not immune from round-eyes whose
Oriental thinking runs to strings of chained ideographs.
Back to the Quinnster - one of his poodles, John Leo, set some sort of
record for chaining homelessness with crime back in the last century: "the
plight of beggars and the homeless"... "80% of city residents
felt that begging and homelessness were serious, pervasive problems on
the subway"... "Get the homeless and beggars out of the
subway" and so on until the final absurdity "69 percent of Americans
think the homeless should not be allowed to panhandle." (As
opposed to political candidates soliciting their donor classes through maskless
revels in swanky mansions !) The gentlemen Leo and Wilson knew, very well,
that not all homeless panhandle, not all beggars are homeless, and most of
those polled resent being panhandled (or robbed or raped) by anybody...
whether the perps reside on park benches, on Central Park West, in a Mexican
slum or in a Minnesota lobbyist’s office. But who gives a rat's ass about truth
when there's opportunity to score points agin’ an already-despised
population, especially one as seldom votes and retards property values! And
doesn’t yet have The Bomb. Therefore,
these days, since the Russians do have nukes and boiler rooms of
pro-Trump ‘lection hackers and the Chinese, who also do… albeit fewer… have
their basement full of pro-Biden hackers sitting on bales of our IOUs, (the
Ukrainians and Costa Ricans, on the other hand, being shit out of luck) we have
to look about for lesser prey. And the
plague and its effects on the economy, added to and culminating in the
twenty-twenty election, poverty remains outside the virtue circle, but hashtags less of a vice.
So America goes gaga
over Bruce Springsteen’s drunk driving rap and Mister Potato Head’s penis, present
or not, while Lady Gaga’s dogs are stolen as symbolic
of the new, normal economy and ECRON, the private power agency as holds suzerainty over Texas, duns freezing
Lone Staters seventeen thou for three days’ heat.
Symbolic GT engenders
reverse-chaining, too... the FBI having squandered thirty years and thousands
upon thousands of dollars trying to prove Groucho Marx was a
Commie mastermind, not to mention Dick Nixon's obsession with John Lennon!
Liberal Squeamish countered with litigation against the "Lion King" hyenas
as racial stereotypes (giving The Donald some of his best glyphic doubletalk… Lyin’ Ted, Lyin’Hillary, Lowlife Omarosa and so on) or "Forrest Gump", as defames the mentally
challenged, and have forced public schools to stop publicizing honor rolls as
insensitive to the aggrieved Bart Simpson brigades; our communities of sloth
and stupidity. And now we got the squeamish
mobilizing to ban this cartoon movie on account of it making fun of allergies.
"It is
important to be sensitive," one authority waffled during the "Lion
King" fiasco, "...however, at some point, sensitivity gives way to
paranoia." I do not mean to imply
that Cecil, the Lion King’s assassin, was “sensitive” but, since the Hunger
Games, bows and arrows are considered rather cool in a Nativist American Way,
although that’s probably racist, too, and deserving of a lawsuit by… somebody…
That litigation! Why
shouldn't parents of those kids killed by this nut
down in
Well, there was
a security guard on the premises... James Oliver Huberty,
in fact… the perpetrator!
"Though America
has major, long-term crime problems, the public understanding of crime is
clouded by politically and commercially powered fantasy," wrote Katherine
Dunn, a reviewer of "The Mythology of Crime and Criminal Justice" by
Victor Kappeler and Gary Potter, coupla
homeboys out at East Kay Why.
The Ex-President assured
us that news is fake news and his lawyer, Rudy, concurred: “the truth is not
the truth”. On the other hand, Potter
and Kappeler say liberal politics and media focus on
failure... the more epic and spectacular the better... because disaster
heightens ratings and the stock of oil companies, gets people out to vote and
give money. "Failure breeds scary stories, which produce fear... failure
feeds political campaigns and spawns social-work programs," they say, "...failure
is where the money is." (my emphasis)
Which probably means a
Democratic blue wave for at least some years to come!
Now I don’t cotton to
schoolhouse killers, and burned my NRA card after their board voted to arm known
terrorists as are already on the “no fly” list, but the gun lady on television
does have some credibility in assigning the culpability for mass mayhem to the
media. Not that the victims and
survivors of Parkdale and Palmdale and Sandy Hook were professional actors
spouting fake blood and paid off by somebody… George Soros, maybe, or Hillary
or Obama... but she does have a point that “crying white mothers” jack up
ratings for the “legacy” media, whatever that is. Something the blue-staters
approve of and cling to, amidst all the pop-up pop populist popes populating diverse
(racist, fascist, conspiracist) internet sites too
numerous for Bezos, Zuckerberg and Google to
throttle.
Brings me back to Morty's discussion of the GT which... if you read up on
science, represents one sort of step backwards into old-fashioned
ways of seeing the dragon whole, then trying to focus in on more
relative parts sort of makes sense. Otherwise we’re reduce to receiving and perceiving
information all chopped up digitally, like on letters of the Western alphabets,
CDs and DVDs as reduce real time to pixels and those new TV sets from Prague we
have to buy because the cable companies got together with the FCC to change
transmission standards, making junk of all our perfectly good old TVs from
Japan which stopped working just a’fore Superbowl Sunday, last year.
There's no question
digital thinking's more faster, efficient and "with
it"... as many paid-off foundation thinkers will write books about, to
tell you. Symbolism, however, comforts... it takes a load off the mind to
point, click and believe as this poll found that 42% of Republicans and 17% of
Democrats believe that any news with which they personally disagree has to be
fake… a conspiracy. The trouble with digital thinking is that rigidity it
imposes which becomes, at an extreme, foundation for all sorts of unpleasant
philosophies, as contribute to worldwide moral decline and even, in
semi-Communist Vietnam, devaluation of the dong. (Calm yourselves, that's what
they call their money, over there!)
What do you expect from
a population that’s gobbling up remakes of “The X-files” and “Twin Peaks” not
to mention all those new shows, videogames and movies as portray Americans as
clueless colluders with the Deep State conspirators, the Russians and all those
reptilian aliens as came down from the sky, not over the Mexican and Canadian
borders. Folks as didn’t know, but were
told that we could tax those Chinese imports and that it somehow wouldn’t come
out of our pockets, nor would the
dragon queens and kings over there not retaliate by boycotting and tariffing our
exports…
Which, seeing as
that last year’s Farm Aid hoedown was held in Hartford, Connecticut of all
places – home of Mark Twain, the insurance people (and maybe, out in the
boondocks, a little tobacco!) this little ditty occurred to me of a Farm Aid
Sunday afternoon amongst some no good relatives and amidst the sweet scent of
Willie Nelson terbacky, fried chicken, horses and
their excrement as opposed to… well…
TOO MANY
PIGS! (see Attachment
One)
And Philo Farnworth's
glyph keeps on soaring out, waiting for some distant culture of little green
squids to haul it down with positronic telescopes and so, symbol by symbol,
begin to understand the nature of them as run that angry little blue planet,
third out from that otherwise unremarkable yellow star. It crossed the path of that Trappist dwarf
star ‘round eleven twenty-two sixty-three, giving any inhabitants of its seven
habitable planets time enough to get back to us. Then, maybe, take action...
Anyone up for Rudy Julie’s
cameo in "War of the Worlds III" - as is goin'
straight to cable and the little red vending boxes, that one as replaced the Scientologist
with Seth Rogan… or was it Joe Rogan? James Franco? (Never have figured out the difference a’tween those two!)
CLICK the CATFISH to go
to PAST and PRESENT EPISODES of "BLACK HELICOPTERS" and to OTHER JACK PARNELL COLUMNS |
ATTACHMENT ONE…
TOO MANY PIGS (originally for farm aid 9/22/18, edited to the present
American surplus while Chinese porkers are dying off from a mystery
disease)
(to the tune of
“Under the Boardwalk”)
Well my pappy died back in
the day, left me his spread in Carolina,
And when the bird flu
struck I did alright raising them hogs to sell in China.
The hours were long an’
the smell mighty wrong,
But the payout for pork,
well it was nice.
Them China diners needed
lots of my swine, a
To fry up with their pork fried rice.
Now I’m American flagged,
union made, from my cap to my shoes
And I pay all my taxes,
hire legal and fly the red, white and blue.
But now I feel kinda bad,
and just a little mad,
Cause them trade wars put my life in a spin
Tho’ while I’ll follow the law, hell I
just never foresaw
The kind of sausage I find myself in.
Chorus: Too many pigs! (they be eatin’ up all my feed)
Too many pigs!
(just ain’t the sort
of trouble I need)
Too many pigs!
(running themselves all round n’ around)
Too many pigs!
(droppin poo all kinds of where on the ground)
Too
many pigs!
Now the domestic market
prices round here, they just drop like a stone,
I’m cuttin’
back on the fat, the fatback and the gristle to bone.
All of that business I had,
used to feel really glad
For the money that I’d be makin’
Trade wars just killin’ me, all us farmers agree
Can’t sell one skinny slab of our
bacon. Chorus
Still the bills piled up
and them hogs, well they just kept on eatin’
Hill o’ bills killin‘ me,
tween the feed and greed, took a beatin’.
Politician dropped by,
looked me dead in the eye,
Told me boy, I can feel
your pain
But we have to stand
strong, and I’ll promise ‘fore long
You’ll be a-selling them porkers
again. Chorus
When the bank took my
spread and our home, sheriff pointed, said Go!
But they didn’t want one
single hog from the lot, don’t you know?
Then some others as I
standing under the sky
Put the change we had left
in a kitty,
Then we loaded a truck
with the pigs and their muck
Drove it north to the capital city.
Chorus: Too many pigs! (set ‘em free ‘round
the Cap’tol Mall)
Too many pigs!
(gruntin’ and snufflin’ in Congressional Halls)
Too many pigs!
(diggin’ up flowers
on the White House lawn)
Too many pigs!
(be smellin’ poo out there long after they’re gone)
Too many pigs!