The Journal
Serving the Metropolitan Area
Since 1872
January 22nd
OUR
GREAT GOD PANIC!
By Jack
Parnell - retired Congressman and Independent Presidential candidate
Syndicated by Acme Features
"...but, being an idle house, it was a hypochondriacal
house."
- G. B. Shaw, "Heartbreak House"
“… they been so long on Lonely Street they never will get back…”
- Elvis Presley, “Heartbreak Hotel”
Take a broth of population,
fast asleep... but too ignorant or frightened to dream of morning’s harsh
mistress… a gumbo of insomniacs ‘n hypochondriacs...
Now add a pinch of dried-up
politician bluster, simmer in a cup of economic stagnation, liberally seasoned
with corrupt left and right-wing entitlements, earmarks and resentments, stir
in a cup of magical conspiracy theories and unicorn piss, waft in a breeze of
race, religious and gender war...
Voila!: your politics of panic!
In the wild, panic has
its purpose - stimulating bodies to produce chemicals necessary to enhance the
fight-or-flight response. Domesticated panic, likewise, produces a torrent of
adrenaline and testosterone-fueled legislation; "doing something" that
may or may not protect the public, but will (usually, unless carried to an extreme…
such as shutting down the government to build a healthcare system or a wall or
simply setting it afire because… well… because) enhance the longevity of the
sponsoring politician. Controlled burns
– they tend to redound to the benefit of the arsonist. Cross burning. Flag burning. Fag weddings. Bird flu, killer bees; killer flu, murder hornets;
the birds, the bugs, the Plague – squirrels, jalapeños. Snail darters. Big cups of soda. Underwear bombers. Sharks. Mosquitoes. Movie matinee shooters, beautiful walls and ugly
Hollywood executives with greasy fingers. Dirty Mes’cans smuggling
eggs into the heartland! They’re all
coming to getcha! Electrifying those… er… slats all
along the Mexican border in the deserts of Arizona and New Mexico – too wussy,
how about mines? That Giant Peanut
Panic, as just went away after Halloween, disappearing... SPLAT!... like rotten
pumpkins crashing across someone's driveway, leaving the airlines to rediscover
certain other problems (like the Boeing Max contraptions) stickier than
goobers!
Denmark Groover, late
state rep from down in Macon, told me how them in Atlanta were so irate over
the carjackings, somebody wrote a law to make it a
Federal offense, despite the fact that state legislators do not have the authority
to write Federal law. No matter! A crowd of professional victims showed up with
television cameras, so they passed it on up to the courts to deal with. "Some
people are as addicted to being busybodies as others are addicted to
drugs," said Thomas Sowell, and Mr. Sowell is, of course, a civil
libertarian of the finest white on black striped pelt.
Nowadays, if not 9-11,
it's "for the children", the panic-stricken recite when, as a few
times every season, pedophiles are found lurking under every bush or
psychopaths turn schools into happy hunting grounds. But, despite the famous
report by the Department of Health and Human Services that a million and a half
kids were abducted in 1983, the National Center had cut that figure down to a
little over three thousand two years later, 2,882 for 2001, the last year for
which figures have been compiled. Of these, nearly three in four were runaways,
about six hundred more were taken by family members, leaving only 59 grabbed by
somebody other than a relative like that uber-stupid Mister Patterson as left
his abductee under a bed - “locked in” with furniture and pillows and then went
out to look for a job. Even adding in
all unidentified dead children found by the FBI, we're talking maybe… a hundred
per year? Two?
Out’n
three hundred sumpin’ million?
Good copshow fodder, lousy stats.
“But if (our new law)
saves only one life a year…” wail the
Squeamish… duly noted. And, in fact,
since Q-Anon asserts that DC, New Yawk and Hollywood liberals
are not only pedophiles but cannibals, the recent disclosure of Armie Hammer’s predilection for human flesh confirmed…
everything! Gotcha!
Ain't
that more "strangers" are stealing our children, demurred Ellen Goodman
up in Boston, it’s that impersonal medicine, employment, education, law enforcement,
daycare and the such all lead to Americans' estrangement from one another as
they lurk, lobby and lollygag on Lonely Street, casting wistful, lustful
glances at the playground while they’re loading their magazines (and I do not mean the Atlantic Monthly!).
Panic likewise prospers
because some as claim to speak for Renaissance get so caught up in their own
tussles over ego, surf, turf, foldin’ money and next
generation-vasks and maxxiens
that Entropy catches a free pass. Enviro-mental cases are a case in point... the
Sierra Club and Wilderness Society too busy fighting one another to mount
coherent opposition to Oregon's clearcutting; fish people and clean water
people spitefully killing off each other's legislation; animal-righters
defending wild pigs against the flowerpeople over
endangered tulip bulbs that boars (as have infiltrated America’s suburbs due to
habitat destruction) like to gobble.
Or, for the politically
intoxicated coupla months back, Liz and Bernie!
For example, the
plague cure spiffled where a drug (Remdesivir) that works… sort of… allegedly racking up a
score of 62 percent in the testing phases which, as any schoolboy knows, shakes
out to a D-minus… against one that doesn’t (Hydrochlorothiazide) which gained
status as the personal pet project of an incompetent, outgoing President who
still believes that science is a deep state conspiracy to tarnish his image,
destroy the economy and bewitch the electorate into raising up a raging, left-of-Bernie
Socialist who will take away your guns and blow up Mount Rushmore.
A man who lost (by
the numbers, if not in his own mind) to Joe Biden! (Although if I had gotten into that race, that White House Duck Commander and his
army of quacks and Sleepy Joe and his army of Armies in pizza parlour basements would really have had something to squawk
about… the both!)
And more bores, everywhere,
celebrities!... donning overcoats of deep thought and deeper state
righteousness, lending their profiles to high-visibility causes (always, as it
seems, just when they have a book or movie or CD coming out, as witness the
explosion of print and electronic recapitulations of numerous Gomers’ three
weeks as an aide to an undersecretary to an acting White House placeholder)! Get him ten minutes of MSNBC or the five on Fox.
(Not Tony Manuzzo, of course, Tony’s... what the word, not “woke” but...
something...
Not to mention
common criminals finding the cloak of political "activism" useful
cover for their depredations, speaking of tree destruction to enable those
books and megawatts of coal-fired electricity to post and pamper those
electronic versions of same. Nasty
little Earth Liberation Front elves potshotting the
few remaining summer job bush-clearers in national forests (Hi, Austin!),
defending the rights of dead trash trees to become tinder for “organic”
wildfires which then generate organic mudslides. That deaf psycho who torched three of those
new hearing aid outlets as “genocidal” to his ilk. Them dopers and burglars and such who turned
Occupy Minneapolis, Seattle, Nashville and Wall Street into a twenty-first
century People’s Parks, like that original in Berkeley or, on the other end,
neo-Nazis attempting to crash gun-rights rallies (with, of course, lots and
lots of guns) in the hope of starting a Revolution (or, at least, a putsch) as culminated in the Pugoesque coup du cocasse (look ‘em up in your French dictionary) as kicked
off the Year After the Worst Year Ever at the Capitol. Conspiracy theorists denying Elvis Presley’s
demise, the moonshot or insisting that plague vaccinations are a Deep State
plot to turn Don Jones autistic with Bill Gates’ or George Soros’ nanochips
while terrified children by the tens of thousands are wearing their counterfeit
masks from China to bed and so dying of suffocation – just like George Floyd. Marginal doctors implanting or enhancing "false
memories" of molestation or Satanic rituals to be harvested in cold cash by
attorneys.
Who were those masked men?
"Everybody
is a victim," wrote Mona Charen upon the
occasion of Lorena Bobbitt striking a blow for feminism and getting 45 days' confinement
in a bughouse, "and to victims, all is permitted." (A sentiment
echoed, stage left, by peaceniks who defended the "moral authority" of
G. Jalen House and Cindy Sheehan as absolute and even ran the latter up against
Nancy Pelosi, though to no avail.)
That is, those victims
as can pay lawyers... in cold, contingency cash or marketable publicity (as
witness that jailhouse shrink whose two hours with whatzisname,
the moviehouse Joker-face shooter, paid off with a book
that reached Number Eight on the New York Times best seller list). Those as can’t… well consider that West Virginia
gives three years’ negligency hard time to this guy
as lost his job and home and moved into an old bus with his kid who got the
frostbite. California, fighting back for
ascendancy in the three, two and one-strike sweepstakes, swept another derelict
into the PIC for a repeat offender 25-to-life for breaking into a church soup
kitchen to steal food. And, segueing
from subhuman to the ridiculous, a tenner to that hoverboarding dentist for…
successfully… extracting a tooth whilst on his hoverboard. (Meanwhile, due to the overcrowding, states are
pardoning and paroling drug pushers, robbers, rapists and murderers to make room
for these fiends.) And, of course, all
those Zero Tolerance idiocies... school expulsions for asthma medicine and Swiss
Army knives, Midol and Certs and Tweety Bird keychains.
"Cough drops appear
harmless," warned school nurse Brenda Isaac in another West Virginia ZT
fiasco. "But none of them are!"
Those sneaky Smith
Brothers with their long... uh... Hebraic beards? Look ‘em up! Then, lock ‘em up!
"Many years
ago, late at night, two police officers threw me into an alley and beat me up
so badly that I had to go to a hospital," complained… or, more precisely,
boasted… one John Engelman to the Oakland Tribune a few Halloweens back. "I
had not been doing anything illegal, immoral or even impolite. I never learned
why they did it, although I suspect they mistook me for someone else. Liberals have difficulty understanding this, but
it is not possible for the police to be effective without occasionally overstepping
their boundaries."
Needless to say, he
wasn’t black. Otherwise he’d be dead.
Consider, too, the
case of this Chicago lady, Magica Bottari,
hauled down to Belleair Shore, Florida... west of Disneyland... on a six year old
warrant for illegally drinking iced coffee on the unmagical kingdom beach
with her mother, the local astrologer: "It's so clear that these rules or
laws or whatever they are not about keeping peace or keeping harmony, they are
about controlling people and making people feel unwelcome."
Replied former Mayor
Robert Clayton, defending the unmagical fugitive snatch and proposing three years’
jail time for fleeing his $30 ticket, "... you have to defend your town!"
Hey – he’s a bleeding heart compared to
the Georgia jurist who socked a mother with twenty long ones for walloping her
boy with a belt after he beat up some classmates and, admittedly, the teacher.
Panic is global, as well
as national… economic as well as political. The price of oil, we now know, is largely calculated
on fear and spite (like the spat between the Russians and the Saudis that
brought some brief, temporary relief to America’s road warriors before the Ukrainian
bombing started and Mad Vlad Putin started cutting arms deals with Iran that
may or may not include nukes while President Joe apologizes for fist-bumping
the Saudi hitman emeritus... or, rather, Crown Prince), not the supply and
demand of the here and now. So if Iran
does build (or buy) nuclear bombs and threatens to blockade the Straits of
Hormuz, America (or maybe Israel) assassinates some Iranians who, in turn,
assassinate some Texans and a Saudi prince or two as isn’t busy chopping up
domestic enemies or nosy journalists. The price of oil goes up, profits to the oil companies
go up and overt or covert payoffs to the politicians and parasites of the
world… they go up too.
Where is any incentive
not to follow the politics of panic? (Kindly note – we haven’t even mentioned Infowars, antifa, the Boogaloo Boys, goop,
MTG or Marianne Williamson. Yet.)
Check out the news
last week? Panic at the Vegas casinos,
where the gamblers mistook the rock some loser threw
through a window for gunfire. Cards and
cash left on the table. Somebody
profited.
"Love casts out
fear," Aldous Huxley reminds us in "Ape and Essence", "but conversely
fear casts out love... Fear also casts out intelligence, casts out goodness,
casts out all thought of beauty and truth." AIDS activist Larry Caputo
adds another item to Huxley's catalog: "...fear casts out the discriminating power
to know what should be feared and how it should be feared."
CLICK the CATFISH to go to
PAST and PRESENT EPISODES of "BLACK HELICOPTERS" and to OTHER JACK PARNELL COLUMNS |