The Journal
Serving the Metropolitan Area
Since 1872
February 23rd
FOR our CHILDREN, our
CHILDREN'S CHILDREN, and for them CREEPY LI'L MOUSKA-EARS GROWIN' OUT'N THEIR
BLESSED LI'L BACKSIDES!
By Jack Parnell - retired Congressman and Independent Presidential
candidate
Syndicated by Acme Features
Getting elected's much a quality of using right code in
public, them right-sounding words as soothe the Squeamish, without giving appearance
of effeminacy (unless your district's Cape Cod, Hollywood or Greenwich
Village). That and, always, doing something!
And, preferably, for the children.
In the code.
Semantical, political, genetic. Code…
That teacher down in
Florida as told her five-year-olds there warn't no
Santa Claus... that Santa up in Michigan fired for telling this brat he wasn't
going to bring him a gun for Christmas, no effin'
way... that Alaska pipeline worker, John Moore, born with immunities to cold,
mosquitoes or some such, as protested having his genetic code patented by UCLA
without his consent, Thirteenth Amendment be damned... all were absolutely
right to do so, but the principal and mall manager and the gene-splicers were
right, in their own way, too. The business of schools and scientists is makin'
monsters, that of malls is selling guns to adults to let lie around so their
kids can use ‘em to shoot up schools and... if nobody's
noticed as yet... we fought a Cold War and won over the principle so, by Fightin' Bob LaFollette and
Patrick Henry, the CNC is gonna win this Code War, too!
We Americans do some
things well, others… not so well. We lead the world in miniaturization,
information, regime change (speed and duration of, if not the subsequent, less-than-competent
occupation), spectacle, public and private debt, Coronavirus
infections and bulldada. We may trail the Portuguese in life expectancy
as a result of the falling off due to plague and Mother Weather or the Cubans
as regards infant mortality, but other countries, amazed, still flock over thisaways to learn how to Disnificate
their own miserable principalities, like that Sultan north of Australia,
building a replica of Los Angeles on his hot little island - only with no sex
shops, no pork or alcohol, no garbage... and no Mexicans! We demand our
politics and solutions be entertaining, disturbing phenomena like
murder and unemployment medicalized and The Children engorged with Entropic
superstitions until finally turned loose upon a nation withered of mind, body
and spirit, barely surviving off machines and scrofulous technologies, wholly
at the mercy of these same vengeful untermenschen...
Which
is another reason why the CNC is going into twenty-four pumped up and hungry. Americans are just plain bored with Joe
Biden, and terrified of Djonald or any ‘Publican as
can overcome him.
Forget race and
class and religion, uber-digitalist Nicholas
Negroponte advises, the real divide's generational...
in people or computers. Who needs worry about starvation in Mogadishu or the
soybean blight when personal computers are being designed no bigger than a set
of cufflinks and the planetaria fourth graders get
hauled to are full of Star Trek memorabilia and Pink Floyd (post-Syd Barrett!) muzak, in what Kent Kaltus grouches
is "a cynical attempt to make science fun!" (As well as old!)
And, after the President's
Science Office... that extraterritorial, demi-Cabinet post that came into being
with the Space Force out'n all them Star Wars sequels,
subsequently retained by those Reform America donkeys!... said that middle
aged, downsized steelworkers and rope salesman should start up biotech
companies, the Roper pollster people as much as made the sign of the cross over
our ‘conomy even before the plague: "If it does
not burst outright, the euphoric bubble in the public mood today should at
least deflate considerably."
See this ol’ Don
Jones Index for confirmation!
Take your Facebook
stock… please! You thought as it must be
another Amazon or Apple when you went out on margin a’fore
it shrunk near as fast as MicroTime. Just as well have grabbed all you could grab
of Game Stop when the Game Stop stock was “plateauing”,
as they say, and headed towards the sub-sub-basement.
"Tryin' to fit a size nine shoe on a size eleven foot," Ed at Mason's Bootery over
on the road to Bowling Green summed up the technology squeeze.
Them regulators
thought they were all doing us all a favor... breaking up Microsoft for Jeff Bezos to just buy up the source code, while His Gatesness stepped out of the shadows of retirement, using
that payoff to sew up Time-Warner-AOL's streaming technology and make a prophet
of Bruce Springsteen... fifty seven audio and three hundred video channels
playing infomercials, Gilligan reruns, ranting preachers and Japanese technotoons, worse than the busted-up telephone company for
the dinner-hour telesolicitors (see this other Don Jones
Index) as get round do-not-call lists because part of their
corporate package is phone service.
Sven Birkerts, author of "Gutenberg Elegies"
fears media corporations are "disappearing" unwanted ideas as books,
increasingly, are bowdlerized, pulped and replaced by bits of electronic data
parceled out and censored by "efficient and prosperous information
managers, living in the shallows of what it means to be human and not knowing
the difference."
Heard the one about the
secret agents planting cyber-viruses in e-books of those anti-Trump John Bolton
tomes? No you didn’t… the President
having scorched his bridges with the military, the intelligence community and the
Justice Department (they’re all Deep
State now, as Don Jones advised one year ago)…
Back in the '90s,
science fiction writer Jeff Noon pondered growing human mouths on the nether
end of rodents, plugging their tails into the wall for use as a biophones... like in the Flintstones. "Only God should
be allowed to create a mouse and, also, a human ear," he objected, being
at heart a liberal futurwurster, "never
mind a mouse with a human ear attached. We don't like monsters."
But, fact is, we're
fascinated by them. Trust Disney to have
its team of geneticists in the basement of the “under-renovations” Cinderella’s
Castle, testing apps to put mouseka-ears… the big and
black and floppy kind… on human beings. We have entire prison and mental health
industries churning out monsters; universities with big endowments graduating
monsters of science, culture, of politics, modern art and monstrously naïve
philosophies left and right and beyond known philosophies... so long as they
are interesting, we'll applaud them,
buy them, vote for them. And if ours is a free
society, shouldn't those as have the means indulge their tastes for the monstrousities?
Socialism, based on
envy, collapsed… sorry, Millenials, sorry Bernie,
sorry Squad… because even the poorest of poor, physically enslaved wretches
believe... deep, deep at that center of that soul, where even the longest,
sharpest needles of dictatorship cannot reach... that they'll someday (through
hard work, luck or lotteries) pull themselves up by their flip-flops so's to afford boots, a house, even a mutated Dutch or
Rumanian Monstrous Mouse with an ear growing from its back, if that's what
they've been conditioned to desire. Call it delusion (an unwonted faith in
Donald Trump, or God, or lotteries), deny it at mortal
peril... sooner than late, even jellyfish DNA glow-in-the-dark manimals will be supplanted by man-machine hybrids and a
whole new kettle of artificial fish.
Meanwhile, they’ll have
hate… “low yen hate” as the Japaneses say; hate for them as are worse off than they,
I will give
President Bush and his successors… the Urban Spaceman and the psycho… their due
for banning the human cloning research in America as our current
Entertainer-in-Chief seems about to restore (case in point – was Trump’s uber-campy aide de camp Steven Miller a younger clone of
Vlad Putin?). Of course the biotech
companies are opening up labs in
places like the Baltics and Balkans, where science comes cheap and civilians
are more tolerant of the mistakes as get made with any new technology (like them
Russian coronavirus vaccines as killed off most of
Murmansk). Kids with glowin' mice or elbows growin' out of their backs have always wandered
through the backroads of Transylvania and Lithuania, goes with the territory.
Once they wash up on
our own shores... and they will!... we'll classify
them as subhuman Xeno (like the "ape-men" bred
by Professor Chiarelli, of Florence). Them as get uppity,
we revoke their patents! Them as behave we put to work emptying
bedpans an' frying hamburgers in place of all them Mexicans we’ve deported back
to the armies of the narcoterrorists... might even
let 'em vote. (It'd be the Catfish way of countering all them nursing homes as
register their vast vacancy of voting vegetables... unproductive, often
unresponsive... proxying their demented behinds to
the Democrats or Republicans, long as they can draw a machine-abetted breath.)
As said Jon Jerde, who designed Universal's fake LA in the middle of
the real LA that the Sultan borrowed off'n: "...the
theme of Los Angeles is that there is no theme.
The fact that Los Angeles has no theme, as a theme, is a brilliant idea."
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