Serving the Metropolitan Area
By Jack Parnell - retired Congressman and Independent Presidential candidate
Syndicated by Acme Features
"In a question of right and wrong, never be neutral."
- Theodore Roosevelt
There's a story Indians tell... those Indian Indians, that is, from the country they call India, as they must be... 'bout seven blind men and just the one ol’ elephant as somehow dodged Don Junior’s bullets. An Indian grabs hold its trunk and says "elephants must be a sort of snake". Another pinches its ear and decides an elephant's just a big old leaf, covered in wrinkly skin; others as touch its tail, tusks, feet and so on make up other explanations. None of those blind Indians ever had one right idea about elephants, on their ownsome, but, if you slapped 'em all together, why... there it was!
Of course if that elephant tired of being pinched by blind, from-India-Indians, it might have just turned round and swatted 'em... then it wouldna made a pinch of difference what nature of a beast it was! Back in the eighteenth century, most as could read took comfort in what the likes of Adam Smith believed: working people were permanently broken in spirit, like farm animals, by their hard, monotonous labor. So termites thought to pinch 'em harder, pay them less and less, but finally the hunger in their bellies woke 'em up instead! People got mad, you had the American and French revolutions, then all kinds of Communist and anarchist seditions and, finally, unions... as would take another century to shrink back to only 7% of non-government labor on account of being so corrupted into the uselessness that even the people whose grandparents they’d saved sneered “Pass ‘em by.”
That, there, is the curse of Entropy, whether it infects the public or the private sector, left or right. They just can't help themselves! Dick Nixon was going to make roadkill of those weenie McGovern Democrats no matter what, in '72, but had to sic the IRS on his enemies’ list, greenlight the break-in and coverings-up at Watergate, win Massachusetts and maybe even D.C., he couldn't help himself! (Djonald Unchained Trump remembered that and let Muller do his Muellering around, despite some of his cronies having to go to the klink but then beached himself bribing the President of f***ing Ukraine, a f***ing comedian. Beat the impeacher-ers, lost… no matter what he maintains… with the voters. We had Gary Hart doin’ his thing, as in that movie, then Slick Willie - who had that Arkansas State Patrol, then his Secret Service, bringing him all the strange as could compete in quantity, if not quality, with his idol, JFK (the whisky-man's boy, not the pickle husband as replaced Hillary at State, took his shot in oh four kept flying around the world telling folks how sorry we Americans are for bein’ Americans, did a little dis n’ dat about the climate and was now, once again, among the top three or seven Donkey Prospects for the twenty-four if Joe decides that eighty is too old to be President. Hey, Kerry’s only seventy @bernie (Same goes with POTheads, if The Head Djonald keeps puttin’ his pants on backwards convention delegates can’t make up their minds). Warn't enough! Had to drop his pants in front of civilians in hotel rooms, finally, desecrate the people's White House with cigar follies out'n that "Cabaret" movie. Couldn't help himself! The applause and polls went to Junior's head after Afghanistan - Congress wouldn't let him invade Iran or Syria, so he dived into Iraq. We got Edwards, McGravy… whatever his name was… Congressman (and rejected Mayor) Weiner, the other rich guy in New York and Secretary Flynn. Hastert! Al “I’m good enough, dammit” Franken! The Urban Spaceman grabbed a Nobel before even serving a day in office, then pulled troops out’n where they shoulda been pushed in and vice versa, raised the Nixonian flag on them thar’ wiretaps and IRS follies and conjured up a healthcare scheme that, frankly, owed more to Kaiser Bismarck than Karl Marx. Which brought us to the Donald, the midnite Tweeter (apologies to Jagger/Richards), as paid shady ladies to slap his rear end with pictures of himself – probably get re-elected because the donkeys think their donkey-feuds more important than the security and reputation of America, and then got steamed at the European bankers, the Colombians and Venezuelans, so we invaded Costa Rica. We couldn't help ourselfies!
Entropy can't help itself either... which is why people keep coming together to kick it in the nuts every generation or so. It's waited out Teddy and Frank Roosevelt, Henry and Georgie Wallace, Ross Perot and certain others, but, as wrote former Democratic Senator David Boren, after the 1995 polls showing 57% of Americans (up to 64% a decade later, 68% now) want at least one serious third-party option and the feeling’s even stronger among young people. And that ain’t the Greens - as want to make everybody drive a $75,000 electric car, eat tofu and nearly nominated Roseanne to run for President, stage left, before coming out as a true believer in Trump’s Deep State and the kindly intentions of the Russians. Nor Libertarians… sorry, Rand, sorry guy who never heard of Aleppo… you shot your wad in ’16 by not nominating that computer guy as murdered his neighbors in Belize. (Allegedly.) And you’ll do it again by rejecting Vermin Supreme in favor of some stiff white guy in a stiff white suit who will take out his little Ayn Rand book and hector you like Jehovah’s Witnesses. "There is no reason to believe that the United States is immune to major changes in party structure which are impacting nations like Japan,” Boren warned. “The people will not forever tolerate a party system which forces them to choose the lesser of two evils."
2016 was not forever but… on the other hand…
As Washington throws up walls of dried New World Ordure six years after, states are quietly decoupling with a repressed fury unseen since December, 1859. Oklahoma, Nevada and Tennessee state legislatures passed various resolutions of unwelcomement to the UN peacekeepers and two counties on Michigan's Upper Peninsula actually passed laws against selling 'em food. (Let ‘em eat herring!) Them as consider the new immigration laws proposed by POTUS to be bogus have topped thirty. Sixteen states, now, hundreds of mayors, city and county administrators and thousands of neighborhood watchdog committees, as trust neither Washington nor their own state legislatures, have passed resolutions reaffirming the 10th Amendment that reserves to them all powers not expressly delegated to DeeCee and making Wall Street shysters shiver the way people used to do with the Yellow Fever. And that’s not even mentioning the near-open state of insurrection in the Palintate of Alaska, as now seems to be attempting a sesquicentennial revanché with them Russians or that on-again, off-again Texas Governor as called for mandatory AK-47 carry in schools, bars and churches, bringing back secession and fighting the Civil War all over again, went to Washington and now gets catcalled as the moderate in the Trump cabinet.
That online petition place has now racked up 1.2 million likes for the likingness of trashing the Constitution and going back to the Articles of Confederation.
Barry Goldwater went to his reward believing extremism in the defense of liberty was no vice, but what people see now in Washington is just plain extremism in the service of just plain greed. The only check on the partisan hate as infects gumment is that the money-boys riding both elephants and donkeys want to be sure that spoilers don't get into the race. The human face of the Republican Party's become a corporate bureaucrat as waves “Mein Kampf” and lays off Americans as, then, get told by Democratic faces in gumment offices that they'll have to submit to urinalysis and anger-management seminars before being put on a waiting list for the children's medicine and surplus cheese.
And it’s all the fault of the Mexicans. Or Italians. Or Jewish space lasers.
Or the cicadas.
At least that last might be a multicultural or insect-tersectuary face… if one believes the tinfoil people who believe that last week’s hoax about human-animal hybrids was not a scam to sell a movie, but the gospel truth… according to Q. (And if human-animal hybrids are being churned out in those labs in Wuhan basements under the plague lab basements – why not human-insects? Stronger, hungrier and can do the sexareeno all night!) Those idiots among the donkey boys (and girls, gay little ponies and those mules as possess the gender of either or neither sex of equine tendancies) have ruint another good American word… “Awakening” (which, essentially, means to stop believing in the lies… any lies, told by any stripe of politician and for any reason)… and, like the piratical Democrats as low-jacked “progressive”, have gelded the notion with their cloudy, clown-concept of the “woke” America… meaning any as whom, out of guilt or greed, enlist in the peanut-gallery of silliness.
One does not have to be a self-hating rich white liberal to become “awakened” as opposed to “woke”, one simply has to have the capacity for discerning, then rejecting, the liberal lies as well as those of the so-called conservatives (i.e. the crooked or just plain mean people). Practicing discrimination! We shall name the names of the naughty and nice as our movement progresses and those who espouse meaningless and vapid language and rituals shall stand exposed by their words and their gestures and then those as flimflam Americans the way Mister Trump did shall be opposed in 2024. Even a few Republicans are “woke” to the disaster at 1600 Pennsylvania; although most continued to applaud even the most vile, conspiracy-engendered policies that inhabit Djonald Unchained’s 3 AM tweetings because they are manna to the donor class who might reward them with a few dog-treats for their compliance. And now a few of the Dems are whispering (well a handful are shouting, but they’re Socialists anyway) that President Joe is all about setting up deals that don’t get done because they’re not supposed to get done and what money is left over after the bill for the Coronavirus goes back into the same old pockets.
Our CNC face posited against the Democratic shrug and Republican snarl... race and gender inclusive, near as I can see the manufacture of it... should be the quiet, confident smile of an old fashioned American milkman, going door to door in his truck (or... once the oil's gone... a horse and buggy as will recruit more of the greenies to our side). Some Americans of a certain age remember milkmen, and wish we had 'em back. It's the Neighborhood Watch volunteer with a wink and a Skittle for the children... and a carbine slung over his shoulder for them as persist in being up to no good.
What the CNC brings to America's table is its enthusiasm and... at the risk of losing the few Virtuecrats as already don't have us on their list of naughties... a sense of adventure. Fun, even! For us, not Vladimir Putin, not Xixi, nor the G-7!
There's an attitude I take in helping see the CNC erected from the ground up, like a kid on Christmas morning experimenting with plastic building logs that Santa left for him. Refuse to concentrate on those as don't fit and get mad, pay attention to those as do and politics can be fun as taking a pint and rifle out to the county dump to blow away a few dirty rats!
Given the Sharpton/Farrakhan/2Crazy/Jackson/Crump axis of mattering, nattering blackness simultaneously deriding their exiled President and casting him as a martyr, that M-Thirteen "Christian" party as seems to have come into being after the incumbent’s Veep reverted to her prosecutorial past and broke her promise to deport twelve million Catholic Mexicans due to the post-plague labor shortage and those beer-drinkin’ conservative Supremes slapped restrictions on just how much probable cause police needed to dragnet them... might be two Christian parties jumping the Trump and siphoning off votes from the elephant men, one pre-millenial, one post! Then turn stage left, various leftover Greens with roubles, dropped-out liberals, socialists, gays, bitter Berniecrats, Hollywood celebrities, feminists and other practitioners of identity politics... with, maybe, the sons of Brother Ross and the Reform remnants rallying behind fired attorney Rudy Giuliani (now that his client stabbed in the back?); that the powers that be in the Deep State are preparin’ them Saturday Night Live clips of him in a dress means ol’ Rood is to be taken seriously as either a Republican challenger or third (twelfth?) party candidate. Or how about Coffee Man or Pillow Man or that other New York Mayor… not Billy D as is polling behind the psychic and those Mayors of Notre Dame and someplace in Florida, but the one with lots of money and his own magazine, too, as wanted to lock up people who drink soda plus some inevitable October surprise, and you've got Constitutional goulash as smells frightening to some, but... to the CNC... reeks of opportunity.
Well, a little competition... the desperate attempts afoot to close off ballot access to all but Uncle Joe and the MAGA-millionaire, the pole-vaulting Termite Twins duly noted... makes for strong bodies, and stronger wills, as are gonna be necessary. Because when a party founded on Catfish principles of charity, thrift, justice, enterprise and common sense wins, the Democrats and Republicans are not just going to let us take over. No... I firmly believe they'll do anything, up to and including ordering police and soldiers to fire on our crowds, like in Belarus, Syria, Paris, Hong Kong and Costa Rica, to keep power and, if they refuse, the DeVos clan will commission their Blackwater mercenaries to mount a coup. Those ten weeks between election and inauguration aren't a tenth of the time needed for Joe to shred documents as would send vast quantities of our legislative, executive and judicial termites marching off to prison!
Those Indian people I mention... or, maybe, the Chinese... have a saying: "may you live in the interesting times". It's a curse. But, the building of Renaissance requires a cleansing as has to be performed from the ground up, I would prefer to second Daniel Boorstin, the author and former Librarian of Congress as coined the term "American Exceptionalism". We are Exceptional, not only for being the Land of the Free, or the Brave, but for having been... and, let us hope, still being... "the land of the blessedly Unexpected."
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