MEMP’IS
BOOK
THREE – “HEARTBREAK HOTEL”
(Incident Report... draft... of Sergeant Chester Aspid regarding events that commenced Thursday, January 4, 2035 - moments past midnight)
Sack and Norlin...
so their IR goes... proceed to this storefront on Tenth; doubled as a ceramics
repair joint and Jates Hall #216. There's busted toilets all over... some of
'em even bein' pulled up for Jatesicovians
when they run out of folding chairs.
Homes was right in at least the one respect, there were two pairs of
clones, half the population besides the facilitator... Paris, he was called. Slimy little keb we
used to take down regularly for LC and petty griftin'
before he found Triple-J. He's been
clean two years, maybe... maybe not... but there's fex
supposed to be going on between him and the Trouble Factory; Patrols, mostly,
so they didn't throw Sack and Norlin out, even let
'em ask their clueless questions. Didn't
get real answers, though, at least from what went into the IR, just a fat load
of clone attitude and J-steppin' fex.
"Gentlemen, we have
visitors this evening," Paris gets reported to have said, "a
believer, Homer Sack, and his guest, Corporal Norlin,
from the Trouble Factory. Good
afternoon, Homer, I'm Vinnie Paris. Good
afternoon, Norlin.
Health, Security and Property!"
And then, in order but over
one another... like a bunch of kebbin' children
singing 'Row Row, Row Your Boat' or some of that other mandatory fex they make kids sing... these eight Jatesists
in the peanut gallery greet their visitors, introduce themselves and each one
repeats the blessing that has been incorporated into the Constitution of Barataria, protectin' yourself
from yourself since twenty-tweeyenty-ocho. There is an
ex-Professor at Man Ray got caught with a bottle and did time, guy wit' two
armloads of tatts, and a janitor, a
old man of no known means. Calls C-Squad
now and then, a frequent flyer, always complaining of being felt up in a bar by
private dicks on loan to Ed Meese fifty years back or those welfare extortion
files opened by some keb name of Califano
even earlier... paranoid, all that fex supposed to
have disappeared in the k'ball. Even a kebbin' ice sculptor, who should've set off
warning bells, but didn't, because I'm a Sergeant, not a Chief.
"I suspect our guests
have some police-related questions to ask, but first," Vinnie told them,
"Brother Bob has an affirmation to make."
One of the
unclones - apparently fully human, or nearly
so, rose on unsteady pins.
"My name is Bob
"J", as many of you know, and I admit to powerlessness over my life
style. I have put that unworthy life in
the hands of that Higher Power, whose messenger on earth was Jezekian Jemaliel Jates..." he confesses.
An' it goes on, and on...
and on. I think Sack wrote up this part,
maybe the whole kebbin' IR, as it transcribes these
confessions word for kebbin’ word... Norlin ain't so thorough when it
comes to fex, too bad he was a rat. Guy's six months free of caffa
is our logorrheaic Bob J... used to be a giglio at HRI before gettin'
jailed an' lost his job - now sweeps piss and puke off floors at some vegetable
garden. Violins, all around! Norlin tried to
pump these dooks, but it's a lost cause, like
wringing water outa kidney stones. Or ice, as it turns out.
"Health, security and
property, gentlemen," Vinnie finally gives all of 'em the bum's rush, cops
and sinners alike... "Jatesday
is coming, and sooner than you think."
Two hours wasted and every kebbin’ sin these dooks confessed
occurred before they found Jates and, significantly, statute of limitations for their
lifestyle criminality’s run out in every kebbin’
case!
One thing they got right,
though, is that there was this flyer
somebody came in and taped up to the bulletin board, probably to keb with the minds of the recovering LCs... Norlin ripped it down on his way out of there,
attached it to his IR. Went like this...
BARDO
PARTY, SATURDAY
Celebrate the upcoming King's
Centennial at the Mad House in Mormentz from dusk to
dawn, Saturday... a night of riot, revelry and perverse refreshments. Help plan for a Jatesday
like no other... come as you are, or, in
homage to our Lord God Plague, masked.
All tribes are welcome.
Especially the Trouble Factory!
(In the event that Saturday is abolished,
the gathering will take place on its equivalent.)
Life, Liberty and
the Pursuit of Happiness!
Gene and Noira Debonaire
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