BOOK FOUR - !BONER

 

 

CHAPTER THIRTEEN -  “SHINY, RED TESLETTE!”

 

 

The next Sreef morning.  Turp and Broonzy… unshaven and hung-over from their fourth night of drinking on Rateyes’ tab… slump on the stoop of the Andromeda, smoking handrolls. Quaia's daughter, Marina, slithers down the steps… mammaries bouncing under a thin vorshurt, thighs bare up to the fringe of badly worn cut-offs.  Broonzy turns, blinks…

“Off to school?

“Why? It's Gargarday,” the treenie shakes her head…

Dunno,” says Turp.  “Can't figure out the days here nohow…”

“Why not? You retarded?” Marina teases, planting an index finger on his scalp and drawing a circle. “There's only four… days, I mean… not like seven, in the planets around Sol where you snakers come from, or thirteen, out in Imajux system. Gargarday, Armsterday, Mecchioday, Vornady… easy!” she counts off, giving Turpin a little rap with each name.  All named for discoverers… Voromontieri discovered the snakes, Mecchianus colonized Die in twenty five twenty one,” she recited, as if playing back a lesson from school.  “Them other two were the old guys… from, like, before the dispersal; one of them was the first man off Terra, the other went to Mars… I think…”

With a worried frown, she removed her finger from Turpin’s head, put it in her mouth and began worrying the nail with her teeth…

“Is that what you do, study astronomical history?” Broonza asks, closing a hand around her ankle.

She kicks his elbow, sharply enough to draw a grunt.  “Right now, they’re teaching us quantum methane engineering…”

“That’ll go good when you’re…” and, as Broonzy makes a circle of thumb and forefinger and inserts his other finger in, rotating it, Turpin reaches into his pocket, takes out his com and starts tweaking digits.

“It’s Gargarday!” he says.  “Seven fifty-nine and three… two… one… yes!  Sreef’s in!”

He looks expectantly over at Broonze, who looks back and laughs.  Turp starts laughing too, then Marina.

They’re still laughing when Rateyes pulls up in a shiny, red Teslette Mark XXVI hovercraft… no more than two years old, and Marina deserts the snakers on the stoop immediately, running to him, trying to vault into the vacant front seat…

Gimme a ride,” she wheedles.

“Can't!”  The gambler wrestles her out, Marina pleads for help but with a smile as they tussle and she ends up on the sidewalk.  “Got to go to a business meeting,” explains the panting hyde.

“What business?  You steal hovers…” Marina taunts him.

“Naughty naughty…” Rateyes scolds, “gimme a kiss or I'll tell your mother…”

“Tell her what, you rawthinstrinker?

“Anything I care to make up!  Quaia trusts me,” he tells the snakers, “she knows how her daughter lies.  Lies, lies, lies…”

Marina closes her eyes and lets Rateyes buss her on the cheek, turning to one side to avoid more contact with the ratty lips and then goes slinking and slithering down the Baawl like a model towards the catwalk.  Old men leer out the windows of two of the buildings opposite the Andromeda – but whether at the heatherette or the hovercraft, this is something swept up and lost to the wind.

“Man! I could go for some of that!  Faq?”  He steps around the front end of the Chevette, slaps the hover and opens the door, gesturing to the snakers.  “Hop in!”

Broonzy leaps up, beating Turpin to claim the front seat.  “I’ve pinched a few hovers in my time…” he boasts, “nothing like this!”

“Easy to take 'em,” says Rats.  “Hard to get rid of 'em.”

“What about all the shurts?” Turpin worries.  “Or the local @(Arabic – police)

Rateyes grins and pulls a metal object that looks like a 900 year old television antenna dug out from beneath a rock, yanks it from beneath the seat. He passes it to broonzy.

“You get the honors, my friend!”

“What about me?” Turpin protests, but the thief@ ignores him.

“Now if they come after us, you're responsible for gattin' 'em.  Just pulling your leg!  Everything's disabled or down… its Gargarday… only chance we'd be stopped is at the forcegate.  Die, in case you haven’t figured it out, is out of money, between the slumping meth prices and what the Regency steals for itself.   I'm a very careful driver…  Ease off!” Rats winks, “it’s a rental, and from a very reputable company…”

He is, of course, a maniac, speeding and swerving his way to the boundary of Tao City, where he swipes a solcard, gives the tollman a cheery wave, and speeds off, closing the dome of the hovercraft as he does. Abruptly, he's serious.

“Wanted to get out of town before telling you two jims this, but I do win more than I lose. A lot more. And so help me Rassoul, I got rawth on my plate if I’m lyin’… i'm telling you this because I sort of like the two of you… makhbool as you are… and because I can appreciate your situation, and I can help you.  And you can help me.  Been checking you out, takes a jim with heart and brains to keep a pile of rawth like Aegelweiss ridin’ the snakes.  Now I need a couple of jims who might know their way around a boner and can keep their mouths shut. Would that be you?”

Turpin gives out a worried sigh.  “Never flew a boneship before…”

Broonzy’s concern is more practical.  “There skilk in it?”

“There is.  Enough to move off this jammin’ rock and live out the rest of our lives on Kopeiiah or Smeldrarma, even go back to Sol.  Maybe not Terra, but Mars?  Can do…”       

Broonze glances backwards at Turp.  “Then I'm in.”

Turpin throws up his hands, surrendering to the moment and what’s probably just another skid-row fantasy.  Jammitarright, you can count me in, too.”

Ayyyie,” Rateyes pumps a fist, then swerves to avoid striking some nightmarish beast that’s wandered into the road.  “Ad valorum, Die!”

 

 

 

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