The Journal
Serving the Metropolitan Area
Since 1872
January 25th
POE
BOYS on the CORNER!
By Jack Parnell - retired Congressman and Independent Presidential
candidate
Syndicated
by Acme Features
As I was growin’ up in Miller's Ridge, must've seen... oh... several
hundred movies by Roger Corman, with Vincent Price actin’ in most, at the Kentuckian
Theatre or on fuzzy old Channel 5 from Bowling Green, over the hill. One I
remember... adapted from ol' Eddie Poe as died, so I have heard, either from
drink or bein' stomped upon for voting too often (so's
to earn a little more money for drink)... this’n had
Vinnie going to some castle of the high and mighties (like
Mar-a-Lago) during a plague (not Covid
but a Camus/DeFoe plague like that Black Death,
carried by rats, only red – the symptoms, not the rats). Walled up in their
castle, they wined, dined and fornicated like Fannie Mac executives while,
outside, those little people (as did the real work to support these termites)
caught the Red Death and expired horribly.
That was before the start
of that other now-cancelled series with Kevin Bacon, as is related to everybody,
now… I'll get back to what happened later, but have a point to make, first, and
it's about how the general crazinesses on our
streets, halls of legislation and media feed off each other, just like plague-fleas
drinking blood off some infected rat.
Look round today - you'll
see all of your favorite monsters sloughing down city streets
between the shambling zombies looking for brains to eat (and not a brain in
sight). We got Frankensteins, randomly splicing genes
into agglomerations of pig, man, tomato and lethal virus. We got vampire ‘conomists – banks wrapped tight as mummies with the red
tape so’s to pocket all that Federal money ‘n not make loans to homes, nor
business. Pirates of Outsourcing, Draculas and Blackulas. Ray Nagin
and Pat Robertson impersonators pimpin' God a’tween puffin’ wacky weed in the jug. Congolese authorities
telling a UN panel that "...pygmies are subhuman, and eating them bestows
magical powers." Coughing Q-Anon
shamans. One so-called youth newspaper
that promotes mean-eyeballing everyone you walk by, while having the means at
hand to do unto others before they do unto you: "Would you take your eyes
off a snake about to strike?"
This lady Doctor Frances
Cress Welsing, as holds black men emasculated by
their single mothers and the white power structure, inspired moviemaker John Singleton
to exhort: "the dysfunctional rite of passage in the black community that
says you're not a man unless you're a killer..." anticipating the swarthy,
racially ambiguous Souljacker. "The alpha male
in the black community has to be able to explode at any time."
Leonard Pitts called
Singleton "full of crap" in the Miami paper (and didn't get blown away,
as Bill O'Reilly did, after dissing rapper 2Crazy) and suggested everybody find
a white man to blame for their less-than-perfect living. "Even the white
man should have a white man." (Or,
as recent events in Memphis prove, every black man five black men.)
Or a nurturing mother.
Like the Affluenza teen’s enabler. Coupla Bamalama third-graders poured disinfectant into their teacher's
sweet tea months before the President advised folks to do the same, got 45 days
in alternative school and their mamas went ballistic. Cynthia Rock called her li'l paleface poisoner a "wonderful
and sweet child" who got A's and wanted to be a heart surgeon. "This
teacher failed to recognize the potential danger of the chemical being left out
in the reach of children." Happens
with guns, too.
Renee Newman, noting
another poisoner was a Cub Scout and baseball star, said: "I also think the
teacher should have been reprimanded... I want to feel that my son is safe, not
in danger because of a teacher's negligence."
(I hear that Mad Vlad Putin is looking for
a few good men, or women, to help him with his
Navalny problem.)
"Children today
grow up amid so much violence it's hard to imagine them becoming docile adults willing
to line up quietly for dinner at a soup kitchen," opined Marilyn Geewax of the Atlanta Constitution after two adolescents executed
volunteers delivering food to the homebound poor for no particular reason other
than that they were bored. "It's possible that many kids will turn out to
be too volatile and undisciplined to ever work - or even to accept charity…"
a premise come to fruition at the Superdome during Katrina, back then, or St.
Louis, during the terror.
(Ain't
just the ghetto poor exploding in our world of role-modulation gone nuts... considering
them last few serial killers being white, well-off family guys: neuroscientists,
Norwegians and New Zealanders, even!… well, Australians, rather squatting those
islands to the east… and I'm sure that college student in Pennsylvania as
chopped the noggin off a beloved campus swan and carried the head around to
impress co-eds was seeking some sort of emotional validation. Ronald Shanabarger, out in Indiana... sensitive soul whose
girlfriend hurt his feelings by not comforting him enough after
his father died... knocked her up, married her, waited until their son was
seven months old, then strangled him "to make Amy feel the way he did when his father died." Empowering Kampgrounds
Of America marketing people to cringe... "Screaming sirens keeping you awake
at night? Afraid to go walking after dark?" then start turning strange... "Silly
sitcoms poking fun at your family values?"
Their
remedy, go out and sleep in the woods… where habitat-deprived mountain lions, wolves
and bears join the rabid bats and foxes and bubonic squirrels as are a-waitin’ for ya! (Not to mention murder hornets and the maniac
Canadians!)
Back around the late
50s, early 60s, Alan Harrington, anticipating Mary Trump, suggested in this
Playboy article (at the U. of K., of course, we always read Playboy for the articles) that just about every
other famous person, Hollywood celebrity, and Wall Street shark were psychopaths
gone plumb out of their heads – and nobody was calling them out on their
fondling the ladies, either. And, wrote Hef's other
media massager, Marshall McLuhan: "...once we have surrendered our senses
and nervous systems to the private manipulation of those who would try to
benefit from taking a lease on our eyes and ears and nerves, we don't really
have any rights left."
Ask a liberal what
to do... they'll promote more taxes and social workers... like this Hawaiian anger-management
counselor on the Family Court payroll, as punched out one of his
under-performing clients and killed him.
Twenty-first century
conservatives will fall back on the same old Revised Patriot Act laws; jails, Gestapo-type
roadblocks and door kick-ins, beautiful walls, collecting more DNA and little
paper cups of piss and implanting microchips in dogs and welfare queens. Deep in their guts, they admire Al-Qaeda, ISIS, Mad Vlad Putin and the Taliban for
persecuting women, minorities and infidels as deserving of death, just like Deuteronomy
Twenty and the Koran say, and their predilection for chopping off hands n’
heads. Some Wisconsin politicians even proposed that "violent criminals,
drug abusers and welfare recipients" be made to "donate" expendable
organs like a single kidney or cornea, sans anesthesia, during their incarceration,
and the unexpendable ones of them after death.
Sounds like a job
for young Master Newman once he gets his cardiology degree. Personally, I could
do without that lion-killing dentist’s heart, Jim Holmes’ brain or David
Crosby’s second liver!
"Evil exists in
this world not to create despair but activity," I recall having read once...
I think it was Tommy Malthus who said this, or maybe Batman on the topic of the
super-villain Bane… or was it a salesman from Mitt Romney’s Bain Capital? "It is the duty of every individual to
use his utmost efforts to remove evil from himself and from as large a circle
as he can influence."
Now - as to how that
movie of the Red Death ended - well, all those rich people, thinking they're so
smart to have walled themselves away from the world and its afflictions, not to
mention the Mexicans (there weren’t too many of those in Middle Ages England, but
no matter), well, some rat found a crack in the wall, its fleas dropped off an
commenced to bitin’ and all them swells swelled-up,
turned red and then dropped horribly dead. There's this more ominous-than-usual
"The End" up on the screen or television and credits roll.
And Vinnie Price... well,
he's left the castle.
CLICK the CATFISH to go to
PAST and PRESENT EPISODES of "BLACK HELICOPTERS" and to OTHER JACK PARNELL COLUMNS |