The Journal
Serving the Metropolitan Area
Since 1872
August 28th
ENTER THE DRAGON!
By
Jack Parnell - retired Congressman and Independent Presidential candidate
Syndicated by Acme Features
"I’ve always rather admired the
Chinese. I suppose that’s because most
of them are so far away."
-Charles
Bukowski (1982)
"When the duck drops, say the magic
word and win a hundred dollars!"
-
Groucho Marx (symbolism being cheaper in the 50's)
Carl Sagan and Jodie Foster got their
"Contact" wrong... warn't Hitler's
speechifying as kicked off this televised Symbolic Age of ours’n,
but good ol' Philo T. Farnsworth out of Beaver, Utah, throwing sixty seconds'
broadcast of a good ol’ US dollar sign which... even flying out at light-speed,
would have made it only halfway to Proxima Centauri two years later before
losing a lot of credibility, back here, back there in 1929.
Symbols make us sit up, clap, weep,
slobber like Pavlovist dogs (or bark, like 2022
candidates), salute... and vote! Remember Willie Horton, Nixon's
bad shave and that little girl picking flowers when Goldwater's nuke went off?
That rat-puke Georgia cracker flashing doctored pictures of one-arm, no-legs
veteran Max Cleland with Saddam and Osama to get elected in that session
between the older Bush brother tending towards proximity to Confederate flags
to out-nword John McCain and America's 911-inspired
homosexual marriage panic four years after, simultaneous to Dubya sellin' off our port security to Dubai while Johnno was reduced
to crawling to the Christers for forgiveness – so’s he could get his ass whipped, next time
out, by the Urban Spaceman and still turn tail on Trump when time came to? Who then sold America down the river to Spook
Central, them Deep Statesmen Blue Meanies of Vietnam,
Latin America and points darker as now get regarded as blue state heroes in
comparison to the ex-President with the red cap and funny hair as told us how
much he loves poorly educated Americans.
Hillary barked until Mister Trump turned into President Trump – partly
as a consequence of Russia fomenting those Halloween FBI e-mail attacks, but
mostly as a consequence of her own arrogance and scheme to out-cozy Djonald Unchained’s cozy bears
who had Number 45 re-elected but despite toxic personality as fomented (but
slipped away from leading) that march on the Capitol, wherein his MAGAmilitia in their red hats and symbolic “Stop the Steal”
chants (slogans being the kissin’ to cousins) briefly
conquered, then lost when it became apparent that Their President wasn’t going
to pass the word to the armed forces to pull the plug on democracy. Djonald UnHinged and Mike UnHanged thus
vacated the White House and left it in the paws of that tired old dog as lost
Afghanistan to several hundred terrorist militias, some of whom migrated
thisaway to blow up half of downtown Racine, arsonate the already-lethal fire
season in Los Angeles and level the St. Louis arch… ‘mongst
other adventures… so we brought back that old Apprentice clown – deep in
dementia now, leaving America to No Chance Vance whom the Stephen Miller people
all but call a Commonist...
Symbols!
Orientalism, that’s what this durty ol’ white racist calls it!, sibilant symbolism –
baldly stereotypical dastardship missing only
carpets, pointy slippers and eunuchs (hopefully unmarried) slithering about
with daggers behind damask curtains of dragons breathing opium fire. Maybe some
wicker furniture, a peacock or two, some Danish cartoons, Fu Manchu and an open
can of gasoline. Disasters waiting to occur.
"It isn't important
that the words mean anything," counsels advertising man Tim Mayfield, an
expert at devising so called "Japlish" to
sell cars and electronics. "The important thing is that they sound
good."
Morty Scow, that California
Congressman as displays Catfishiscist tendencies now
and again, calls it Glyphic Thinking. GT simmers underneath the crust of
Western reason like a vein of Aztec gold (or
Law and order's halfway glyphic
already, being as some of those entrusted with homeland security have strolled
beyond catching homeland robbers and killers to prognosticating thoughtcrimes.
Mr. James Quinn Wilson's theory of broken windows makes the sense to some... if
you prohibit broken windows, public urination, panhandling, graffiti, as the
theory goes, Scott Peterson, Martha Stewart, Steve Bannon and the Sandusky
Strangler will take their business elsewhere, throwing curses over their
shoulders like Andy f*ing Cuomo!
Might fly. Peterson seens
‘bout to be let out of jail on technicalities and Martha, after serving her
time, nearly upset Snoop Dogg’s dogteam in the last
Puppy Bowl on Super Sunday weekend.
Symbolism, strained through News
Frontiers of Contempt, breeds such chaining... employment of one despicable
characteristic to despicabalize another, tangential
trait, property or person. Back in Gold Rush San Francisco, came this
politician Denis Kearny, famous for blaming everything on the Chinese...
attaching riders to chuck out Chinks to every damn scrap of legislation he
could get his paws around. It would seem even Orientals are not immune from
round-eyes whose Oriental thinking runs to strings of chained ideographs.
Back to the Quinnster
- one of his poodles, John Leo, set some sort of record for chaining
homelessness with crime back in the last century: "the plight of beggars
and the homeless"... "80% of city residents felt that begging
and homelessness were serious, pervasive problems on the subway"...
"Get the homeless and beggars out of the subway" and so on
until the final absurdity "69 percent of Americans think the homeless
should not be allowed to panhandle." (As opposed to political
candidates soliciting their donor classes through maskless revels in swanky mansions !) The
gentlemen Leo and Wilson knew, very well, that not all homeless panhandle, not
all beggars are homeless, and most of those polled resent being panhandled (or
robbed or raped) by anybody... whether the perps reside on park
benches, on Central Park West, in a Mexican slum or in a Minnesota lobbyist’s
office. But who gives a rat's ass about truth when there's opportunity to score
points agin’ an already-despised population,
especially one as seldom votes and retards property values! And doesn’t yet
have The Bomb. Therefore, these days,
since the Russians do have nukes and boiler rooms of pro-Trump ‘lection hackers
and the Chinese, who also do… albeit fewer… have their basement full of
pro-Biden hackers sitting on bales of our IOUs, (the Ukrainians and Costa
Ricans, on the other hand, being shit out of luck) we have to look about for
lesser prey. And the plague and its
effects on the economy, added to and culminating in the twenty-twenty election,
poverty remains outside the virtue circle, but hashtags less of a vice.
So America goes gaga over Taylor Swift’s
divorce, Bruce Springsteen’s drunk driving rap and Mister Potato Head’s penis,
present or not, while Lady Gaga’s dogs are stolen as
symbolic of the new, normal economy and ECRON, the private power agency as holds suzerainty over Texas, duns freezing
Lone Staters seventeen thou for three days’ heat.
Symbolic GT engenders
reverse-chaining, too... the FBI having squandered thirty years and thousands
upon thousands of dollars trying to prove Groucho Marx was a
Commie mastermind, not to mention Dick Nixon's obsession with John Lennon!
Liberal Squeamish countered with litigation against the "Lion King"
hyenas as racial stereotypes (giving The Donald some of his best glyphic
doubletalk… Lyin’ Ted, Lyin’Hillary,
Lowlife Omarosa and so on) or
"Forrest Gump", as defames the mentally challenged, and have forced
public schools to stop publicizing honor rolls as insensitive to the aggrieved
Bart Simpson brigades; our communities of sloth and stupidity. And now we got the squeamish mobilizing to
ban this cartoon movie on account of it making fun of allergies.
"It is important to
be sensitive," one authority waffled during the "Lion King"
fiasco, "...however, at some point, sensitivity gives way to
paranoia." I do not mean to imply
that Cecil, the Lion King’s assassin, was “sensitive” but, since the Hunger
Games, bows and arrows are considered rather cool in a Nativist American Way,
although that’s probably racist, too, and deserving of a lawsuit by… somebody…
That litigation! Why shouldn't
parents of those kids killed by this nut down in
Well, there was a
security guard on the premises... James Oliver Huberty,
in fact… the perpetrator!
"Though America has major,
long-term crime problems, the public understanding of crime is clouded by
politically and commercially powered fantasy," wrote Katherine Dunn, a
reviewer of "The Mythology of Crime and Criminal Justice" by Victor Kappeler and Gary Potter, coupla
homeboys out at East Kay Why.
The Ex-Ex-President assured us that
news is fake news and his lawyer, Comeback Rudy, concurred: “the truth is not
the truth”. On the other hand, Potter
and Kappeler say liberal politics and media focus on
failure... the more epic and spectacular the better... because disaster
heightens ratings and the stock of oil companies, gets people out to vote and
give money. "Failure breeds scary stories, which produce fear... failure
feeds political campaigns and spawns social-work programs," they say,
"...failure is where the money is." (my
emphasis) Which might
probably have meant a Democratic blue wave for at least some years to come
until the lib’rals blew up the Statue of Liberty!
Now I don’t cotton to schoolhouse
killers, and burned my NRA card after their board voted to arm known terrorists
as are already on the “no fly” list, but the gun lady on television does have
some credibility in assigning the culpability for mass mayhem to the
media. Not that the victims and
survivors of Parkdale and Palmdale and Sandy Hook, Texas and Minneapolis and
Raleigh, too were professional actors spouting fake blood and paid off by
somebody… George Soros, maybe, or Hillary or Obama... but she does have a point
that “crying white mothers” jack up ratings for the “legacy” media, whatever
that is. Something the blue-staters
approve of and cling to, amidst all the pop-up pop populist popes populating
diverse (racist, fascist, conspiracist) internet sites too numerous for Bezos,
Zuckerberg and Google to throttle.
Brings me back to Morty's discussion
of the GT which... if you read up on science, represents one sort of step backwards
into old-fashioned ways of seeing the dragon whole, then trying to focus
in on more relative parts sort of
makes sense. Otherwise we’re reduce to
receiving and perceiving information all chopped up digitally, like on letters
of the Western alphabets, CDs and DVDs as reduce real time to pixels and those
new TV sets from Prague we have to buy, tariffs and all, because the cable
companies got together with the FCC to change transmission standards, making
junk of all our perfectly good old TVs from Japan which stopped working just a’fore Superbowl Sunday, last
year.
There's no question digital thinking's
more faster, efficient and "with it"... as
many paid-off foundation thinkers will write books about, to tell you.
Symbolism, however, comforts... it takes a load off the mind to point, click
and believe as this poll found that 42% of Republicans and 17% of Democrats
believe that any news with which they personally disagree has to be fake… a
conspiracy. The trouble with digital thinking is that rigidity it imposes which
becomes, at an extreme, foundation for all sorts of unpleasant philosophies, as
contribute to worldwide moral decline and even, in semi-Communist Vietnam,
devaluation of the dong. (Calm yourselves, that's what they call their money,
over there!)
What do you expect from a population
that’s gobbling up remakes of “The X-files” and “Twin Peaks” not to mention all
those new shows, videogames and movies as portray Americans as clueless
colluders with the Deep State conspirators, the Russians and all those
reptilian aliens as came down from the sky, not over the Mexican and Canadian
borders. Folks as didn’t know, but were
told that we could tax those Chinese imports and that it somehow wouldn’t come
out of our pockets, nor would the
dragon queens and kings over there not retaliate by boycotting and tariffing our
exports…
Which, seeing as that last year’s Farm
Aid hoedown was held in Hartford, Connecticut of all places – home of Mark
Twain, the insurance people (and maybe, out in the boondocks, a little
tobacco!) this little ditty occurred to me of a Farm Aid Sunday afternoon
amongst some no good relatives and amidst the sweet scent of Willie Nelson terbacky, fried chicken, horses and their excrement as
opposed to… well…
TOO MANY PIGS! (see Attachment
One)
And Philo Farnworth's glyph keeps on
soaring out, waiting for some distant culture of little green squids to haul it
down with positronic telescopes and so, symbol by symbol, begin to understand
the nature of them as run that angry little blue planet, third out from that
otherwise unremarkable yellow star. It
crossed the path of that Trappist dwarf star ‘round eleven twenty-two
sixty-three, giving any inhabitants of its seven habitable planets time enough
to get back to us. Then, maybe, take
action...
Anyone up for Rudy Julie’s cameo in
"War of the Worlds III" - as is goin'
straight to cable and the little red vending boxes, that one as replaced the
Scientologist with Seth Rogan… or was it Joe Rogan? James Franco? (Never have figured out the difference a’tween those two!)
|
CLICK the CATFISH to go
to PAST and PRESENT EPISODES of "BLACK HELICOPTERS" and to OTHER JACK PARNELL COLUMNS |
ATTACHMENT ONE…
TOO MANY PIGS
(originally for farm aid 9/22/18, edited to the present American surplus while
Chinese porkers are dying off from a mystery disease)
(to the tune of
“Under the Boardwalk”)
Well my pappy died back in
the day, left me his spread in Carolina,
And when the bird flu
struck I did alright raising them hogs to sell in China.
The hours were long an’
the smell mighty wrong,
But the payout for pork,
well it was nice.
Them China diners needed
lots of my swine, a
To fry up with their pork fried rice.
Now I’m American flagged,
union made, from my cap to my shoes
And I pay all my taxes,
hire legal and fly the red, white and blue.
But now I feel kinda bad,
and just a little mad,
Cause them trade wars put
my life in a spin
Tho’ while I’ll follow the law, hell I
just never foresaw
The kind of sausage I find myself in.
Chorus: Too many pigs! (they be eatin’ up all my feed)
Too many pigs!
(just ain’t the sort
of trouble I need)
Too many pigs!
(running themselves all round n’ around)
Too many pigs!
(droppin poo all kinds of where on the ground)
Too
many pigs!
Now the domestic market
prices round here, they just drop like a stone,
I’m cuttin’
back on the fat, the fatback and the gristle to bone.
All of that business I had,
used to feel really glad
For the money that I’d be makin’
Trade wars just killin’ me, all us farmers agree
Can’t sell one skinny slab of our
bacon. Chorus
Still the bills piled up
and them hogs, well they just kept on eatin’
Hill o’ bills killin‘ me,
tween the feed and greed, took a beatin’.
Politician dropped by,
looked me dead in the eye,
Told me boy, I can feel
your pain
But we have to stand
strong, and I’ll promise ‘fore long
You’ll be a-selling them porkers
again. Chorus
When the bank took my
spread and our home, sheriff pointed, said Go!
But they didn’t want one
single hog from the lot, don’t you know?
Then some others as I
standing under the sky
Put the change we had left
in a kitty,
Then we loaded a truck
with the pigs and their muck
Drove it north to the capital city.
Chorus: Too many pigs! (set ‘em free ‘round the Cap’tol
Mall)
Too many pigs!
(gruntin’ and snufflin’
in Congressional Halls)
Too many pigs!
(diggin’ up flowers on the White House lawn)
Too many pigs!
(be smellin’ poo out there long after they’re gone)
Too many pigs!