The Journal
Serving the Metropolitan Area
Since 1872
September 1st
THE TYRANNY of EXPERTISE!
By Jack Parnell - retired Congressman and Independent
Presidential candidate
Syndicated
by Acme Features
Here's one more good
reason not to chase Egyptian chicken! Down the Nile a ways from Cairo, as I
hear, this farmer tried to rescue some ol’ biddy fell into a well, sixty feet
deep, and tumbled in after. He drowned, but not a’fore
his sister and two brothers jumped in after him and drownded,
too, as did a few more neighbors who jumped in after. Finally people as knew how
to swim jumped in and pulled out the six bodies... and also that chicken, still
alive and cluckin'.
Somebody once said
how the road to Hell’s paved with good intentions, and I guess it may be so. One of them Rob Zombie evil clown movies (as
distinct from the Steven King ones) also said that people in Hell still love
popcorn. The more gumment
tries to help people by putting experts on the job... buzzin' day n' night like busy little gnats n' skeeters... the more people resent 'em when
their help turns bad. Bad as neighborhood regulators fining folks without the lawnmores for tall grass so’s they
fall deeper in the hole, bad as in Katrina's FEMA, ERCOT’s ENRONics
or Flint’s water, or those citizens of Oklahoma - as promised Santa's sack o’ goodies
to the Goodyear people for bringing that tire dump to town, as then made that
mosquito hotel Ground Zero for the West Nile n’ the Zika
'til someone finally set it afire! Bad
as Hurricanes Laura and Marco, the both, making a gumbo of things, down there
in New Orleans, and on Katrina’s quinceaña, her sweet
sixteen then bein’ visited by last winter’s snow and
ice storm that had the negative temperatures shivering all the way to the Mexican
border.
Bad as taking evil
old dictators off’n their Middle East pots they’re
squatting on and wind up with a popular revolution just about evenly divided
between Al Qaeda, ISIS, Russia and Iranian puppets – all of ‘em armed to the
teeth (those as still have teeth, that is) – agin’ us
and lookin’ for soft targets into which to bite while
the Communist Chinese wait and watch in the shadows. Upsetting the balance of power, like taking out
Iraq strengthened Iran, a certain former Chief Executive’s dissing
NATO encouraged Putin’s war and the dude after him’s running
out of Afghanistan brought us ISIS-K. (At
least they’re mostly the Taliban’s
problem now.)
Some of the worst
travesties of good intentions, like them cynical Lascher-Williams
campaign finance reforms steamrolling thru Congress (as force taxpayers to
subsidize the same old bipartisan mummery without taking action on Citizens
United, now controlling six justices of the seven justices on SCOTUS, result
from what those of us as sat on Congressional Armed Services committees, called
the "mission creep". It's like
going into somewheres to save the world...
Especially in hard
times, we've had experts step to up to the plate, as were able to meet such
exigencies as arose out of wars, disasters, depressions... even those few,
especially valuable expert experts, like Jefferson, Madison and
Franklin, Hamilton, Edison, Lincoln and Henry Ford, too (‘cept
for the slaveowning and Nazi stuff). We've also been
lucky to import such experts as other countries didn't want… with apologies to
Mister Drumpf… experts like Einstein and Liz Taylor
and all them Mexican and Korean movie directors, vegetable pickers and boy
bands, as well as all kinds of imported experts came to occupy our government,
like Madeline Albright, Henry Kissinger from the CFR (love his politics or
don’t), them Russian Google people, Brzezinski from the Trilats
(see Kisso), not to mention our owntimes'
Jared Pettigrew, native – tho’ he did graduate London
School of Economics. Even a fistful of
Canadians, like Celine Dion, Bill Shatner, Leonard
Cohen, Elon Musk…
Probably nowhere,
since 1776, did there come such an upswell of
government expertise as in the New Deal, then during the war against Hitler...
so effective were they (and so numerous) that conservatives still fume at the
society they created where, as Brother Rush contended before ascending into Hoover Heaven,
people got so used to seeing money come back from Washington that
some decided to vote, in perpetuity, for the liberals.
Except... the
liberals broke faith after the sunset of the W.P.A. It is my own often-stated position… see the Don Jones Index of
three years back… that liberalism as a virtuous principle took its mortal hit on
eleven twenty-two sixty-three, and lingered on death-support until the double
tap summer of '68 when its leading practitioners, President Johnson and Vice-President
Triple-H Humphrey, rigged that nomination in Chicago to stiff the voters in all
the primaries as had expressed... by their votes for McCarthy, McGovern and
Robert Kennedy... a desire for the '68 election to be an honest referendum on
the Vietnam war and certain other problems. After that, liberalism turned
slithery... corrupt... the termites lured bearded Leninists out of universities
and into the psychological testing and polling scams: marketing strategies to
seduce people into buying stuff they didn't need on credit, law enforcement
into detecting deviance - as opposed to solving crimes - and the National
Institute for Health (a fine anthill of expertise, to be sure) into isolating
genes and brain chemicals suspected of causing deviant or self-damaging behaviour... crime, sexual unorthodoxy, enlisting in the
National Guard... these sort of things. Even started calling themselves Progressives
once “liberal” became a cussword, setting Teddy Roosevelt and Fightin’ Bob LaFollette to spinnin’ in their graves.
Having discovered
correlations between low seratonin levels and
violence in the brains of rats, NIH's liberal sociologists promised "to
examine brain chemicals in children growing up in high-risk
neighborhoods," reported Anne Rochell in the
Atlanta papers. "Kids with low serotonin could be singled out for
intervention programs. These could include medications..."
Or
lobotomies…
Or
warfarin...
'Nother
foreign expert, Dr. Simon Young of Montreal, justified kiddy-doping by saying: "I
know people who have had to spend years manacled in the locked portions of mental
institutions because of their aggressive impulses. There is a
need for the pharmacological treatment of those patients."
But Dr. Peter Breggin, author of "The War Against
Children" saw that short, slippery slope all the way down to a chemical
Big Pharma carried the
day and got their funding with a spoonful of sugar (or oxy contin)
to make the medicine go down. The Prozac people, now, sell their dope in
little, sweet red gelatin squares; Abbott Laboratories markets
raspberry-flavored narcotic lollipops containing the sedative fentanyl which,
say the drug police, is so more likely to cause a fatal overdose than heroin
that the high sheriffs of Nebraska are using it to execute their prisoners and
tombstone stoners like Michael Jackson and Prince made it their chemical of
choice. "What kind of message are
we sending to our children when we mix potent narcotics, like fentanyl, into
their candy?" asked Dr. Allen Hinkle of the FDA.
Saw, th’other day between scenes of more Ukrainians being shipped
off to some gulag... the lucky ones, as I suppose... this advertisement promoting
some sort of treatment as imitates the anti-amxiety medications
harried housewives consume by the handful, thanks to Doctor Feelgood.
For cats. Cat Quaaludes. As the Russians in Moldovia are crawling over the border towards Bucharest...
So disregarding and
disoriented are Federal regulators that action has to be delegated downwards to
the state and local level. The opioid pushers at Johnson & Johnson got socked with a
half a billion in civil judgments (the plaintiff’s lawyer dejected that it
wasn’t the seventeen billion he’d sought) down in Alabama… the Devil’s Island
of gumment indifference but also the Mecca of civil
litigation. Did it retard their
racehorse in the Vaccination Derby against Pfizer and Moderna?
Prob’ly.
And up in
Massachusetts where, I guess, Pocahontas wields a mean tomahawk, the Febbies currently have Big Pharma’s big pushers, the Sackler family, being marinated up for the griddle.
Then we came to the coronavirus. President Trump believed that discovery of a vaccine
a few days before November 3, 2020 would push him over the top, so he rushed to
greenlight that icky stuff from Russia that Mad Vlad assured him (smile, wink!) was breathtakingly
effective and absolutely safe. Unfortunately, it killed so many rats and mice
and guinea pigs and beagles that the project was aborted despite Djonald’s rages.
Took a lot of breaths
away, it would have. But they would have
been true believers as probably caught the plague, in the first place, from
attending some maskless, crowded disco, or one of those MAGA rallies. Killing off the base would prob’ly
have turned a few more red states blue, but Don Jones may be assured that the
incumbent would have found some conspiracy hook to hang his red hat on, and his
lawyers would still prob’ly be hashing the matter out
in some court or another.
Far as I recollect,
the Good Shepherd was not a vegetarian!
A simple message! Ban
harmless, hemp-flavoured jawbreakers as thoughtcrime, but trust the strangers with fentanyl candy... hey, they're doctors! (Or maybe veterinarians?)
Other experts in
psychedelic lollipopupopaloozery brought America the
phone company and Microsoft breakups and NAFTA... supposed to be just a
temporary measure giving relief to Mexico and Canada but, of course, the
camel's nose underneath the tent to pass CAFTA, PIFFAFTA (or whatever that stood for) and, now, EAFTA (or
should that East Asian Trans-Pacific scam be called TAFTA?). So now that the
supply chain’s been linked in and foreign ships of stuff have Qual-Marts bulging with toys churned out by slave labor
camps in Vietnam and Saipan... to the detriment and eventual extermination of
American jobs... while phone service in nine states is being disrupted by… talk
about retro!... a strike, and down in Oklahoma, the litigating and
mosquito-breeding and tire burning's still goin'
on!
"One terrible sentence haunts NAFTA," wrote Sandy Grady,
up in Philadelphia, as also mentioned that, too often in the past, we'd "been
betrayed by experts..."
"I'm
from the government, and I am here to help you."
"Humans are
absurdly easy to indoctrinate," contended that cranky sociobiologist,
Eddie Oh Wilson, so despised by both virtuecrats and
politically correct Squeamish, "they seek it!"
Well, next time as
some damn Egyptian like Fatty al Sissy asks me to jump down a well, think I'll
just hand the fellow a copy of Grammy Parnell's favorite recipe for drownt-chicken soup and boogie on up the Nile
towards the Pillow People’s magic fields of cotton... tiptoeing 'round the potholes
an' mosquito-tires fast as I can... far, far away from that truckstop
of good intentions as hides the semi behind which hide Leatherface,
Mike Myers (the Friday the 13th guy, not the Austin Powers actor),
Norman Bates, Rob Zombie’s wicked clowns and Stephen King’s Pennywise, too, Zazzbo, the First Family and Freddie Kreuger.
Rudy Giuliani also!
(Damn – I miss John
McCain… he’d tell Uncle Joe what to do with that
bunch!)
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