The Journal
Serving the Metropolitan Area
Since 1872
March 20th
PRETTY CRAZY!
By Jack Parnell - retired Congressman and Independent Presidential
candidate
Syndicated
by Acme Features
With the Communism
replaced by Mad Vlad Putin’s European adventures
(with a little help from a hyperzealous Russian Orthdox patriarchy... as we took a closer look at in this Don Jones Index of
nearly a year ago... and the blessings of Ol’ 45) a fanatic Islam veering
disturbingly congruent to fundamentalist Christianity, the flag-burners and
fag-burners’ exploits deminimalized into that black
hole of State legislatures (trannies desperate to take their dumps in appropriate
crappers having slapped down the basketball fans of North Carolina and
liquidated the Dallas Superbowl)... with evil
Mexicans thwarted by the impending erection of our tall, American wall and bus
tickets to Martha’s Vinyard from Saint Ronald… once Father
returns to power any day now!... with
the Chinese spreading disease, watching and waiting for the white devils to
destroy one another and no coherent liberal anathemas being proclaimed by
Mister Biden, Squeamish of the right persuasion desperately need a new
scarecrow. Meanwhile, they make do vilifying the ever-morphing manifestations
of political correctness (hereinafter, PC)... that vanguard of the few, the
proud, the sensitive!
PC's come into maturity
in mosquito-pond hot tubs of failed liberalism... (as
if there’s been any other kind since eleven twenty-two sixty-three)… political PeeCeisters revering martyrs like Trotsky and Che and
George McGovern, but abhorring winners such as Stalin, Obama (sort of) and
Castro. Following the Whorfian Hypothesis... not a plot device on a Star Trek
rerun, but linguist Benjamin Whorf's notion "that language determines
thought"... PC's victim untermensch (or, more germanely, their
white, upper-middle-class "advocates", spokesmen and attorneys) stagger,
like movie zombies, after that Holy Trinity of all post-industrial society...
offense taken, apologies proffered and spare change doled out to the self-designated
“voices for the voiceless”.
Their silly season usually
(barring a plague wave of intensifying
intent) commences with autumn's return to school after the bipartisan hollow-to-nonexistent tributes to Labor (see
this antiquated, pre-Bidenesque Don Jones
Index), replaced by the ritual
protests against historically militaristic statues and textbooks – issuing
demands that racist, patriarchal, speciest, athletic
nicknames like Braves, Pirates… where, at Armstrong State in Savannah, the PC
left cried "Rape!", joining right-wing defenders of private property
offended by the "pillage and plunder" morality of the likes of "Frenchie"
Depp (if not necessarily role models like the Messrs. Douglas and DeCaprio in their
movies)… Giants (size-ists) or Wolverines
(carnivores) be replaced by the
Columbus Day always brings
good footage of PeeCeister-keisters being kicked by
elderly Italians at whom they've thrown eggs (or, in the case of vegans,
eggplants, broccoli and the Donald’s dreaded tomatoes) from behind police
barricades. Then comes the witching season of Halloween... the Warlocks' Anti-Defamation
League vying for media attention with Christian fundamentalists in PC school
districts, like that in Iowa as banned white children from costuming themselves
as “Indian princesses, slaves or Gypsies”, thus satisfyin'
and gratifyin' both the Aryan Nation constituency and
all twelve of Iowa's numerous restless minorities.
Or, in Modern Times,
organized protests against the cable company running that million-something
dollar movie “It” with the evil clown and his red balloons hiding in the sewers
– brought to you by the benevolent and protective society of circus clowns
(tacking virtuous after half their livelihoods were wiped out by the plague,
and the other half by PETAphiles shutting down their
circuses as elephant exploitatve).
Then, Thanksgiving brings
forth the perhaps-justifiably enraged Native Americans, but, also, that fringe
of the fringe of the margin... former liberals who, disillusioned over minorities,
women, abused children and other human victims discharging them as their
spokesmen, have fastened on to the only voiceless constituencies left - plants
and animals which, being voiceless, can’t tell them to fruck-off!
Not just the turkey people, but this cellist in Eureka, California as disrupts
the winter "Peter and the Wolf" children's concerts (anti-wolf! and
counter-picketed by the anti-predator league) and those as railed at Wheaties
to have angler Denny Brauer inked off its boxes as a
murderer of fish or the genetic antimanipulators who
boycott cornflakes as exploiting "Nazi-directed pollination",
supplanting the stubby, stunted maizes that serviced
vastly smaller indigenous populations four centuries ago.
Once PETAphiles have had their fifteen minutes, our media
raptors miraculously discover the poor and homeless, leading to a positively Hillarious spree of Bidenistic self-flagellation,
culminating in a final string of chaotic assaults on Christmas... downgraded, by
sensitive (and lawsuit-fearing) school boards, like that of Covington, GA, to "the
winter holidays"... as either too religious or too commercial. Then, as
winter’s freeze and summer’s heat scatter the various communities of
occupation, spokespersonism and guilt until next
autumn rolls round, compassion's legions sink back into their swampy undergrounds
in Greenwich Village, Hollywood and university communities like Cambridge,
Massachusetts (where pusillanimous City patriarchs posted "domestic violence-free
zone" street signs at intersections facing Harvard and MIT, where much of
our nuclear and biotech-based weaponry research is done). Of course there are smaller scale eruptions
like St. Paddy’s day (some insensitive-sensitive Hibernian apologists once
protested the drunken and violent Irish stereotypes until outvictimized
by blacks and Chinese… see our St. Paddy’s day Don Jones Index of two years past) and were rebranded as Nazi sympathizers from whom
reparations were due, rather than to whom they were owing.
Multiculturalism...
which term for reverse racism was officially defined by Ousmane Soce Diop, Senegalese Ambassador
to the United Nations in 1966... consists of demanding economic assistance (handouts)
while maintaining cultural separatism. "We're here to get paid," declaims
Nation of Islam minister Sammi Muhammad. "Money, that's what we
want!" – a sentiment seconded by Jesse Jackson in September, 2007 when,
after the pale and foolish London Mayor Ken Livingstone apologized for slavery,
he demanded reparations in pounds-sterling (no doubt to be determined,
collected, allocated and disbursed by…. Himself).
Wealthy or, at least,
well-off palefaced legions of the "compassionate
community" must be more... well... creative in justifying
their own grants, tenures and gumment sinecures.
Multiculturalist Stacey D'Erasmo found her goldmine
comparing the literary canon of dead white males and a few discooperative
females... Blake and Woolf, the Brontes, Georg and T.
S. Eliot and Ezra Pound... to pounds of Spam: "resilient and, for planners
of curricula, cheap." Why, she asks, didn't the Columbia Literary History
of the United States, include "Indian cave narratives"? After all,
Oxford (England, not Mississippi) published an anti-racist, anti-sexist, anti-dextrous Bible... no talk of the "right hand of
God" as would offend the Sinister Liberation Front. Consequently...
following the 60's principle of issuing non-negotiable demands which, when
satisfied, are followed up by even more ridiculous non-negotiable demands... Stay's
even done us the favor of rewriting the Lord's Prayer: "Father-Mother
(heaven deleted), hallowed be your name, may your dominion come."
Even so, some
dedicated minions of the League for Separation of Church and State is
petitioning the state attorney’s general to hunt these praying mantii down and lock them up. Blame Ronald Reagan Junior... or, maybe, Ozzy Osbourne.
Somewhere (not Heaven,
of course, but in a nameless, value-neutral Place), God... looking rather like
Ronan Farrow or Justin Bieber, no doubt, sits... simpering, stroking his
dominion and welcoming such PC angels as the postal bureaucrats who airbrush
cigarettes from Jack the Dripper's stamp, or that new James Bond
from the Amazon big (anti-circus) tent with anti-drug and anti-smoking bumperstickers on his all-electric KIA Kaos.
Inevitably... from Wittgenstein's
arguments favoring process over product... Ghiselin,
the relativist, proceeds to: "Instead of asking ‘What is Good?’, we ask
‘What has happened?’"
Excrement has
happened, that’s what. But it’s OK… it’s PC excrement from vegan transgenders
in their government-approved restrooms (but not in Texas or North Carolina; Oklahoma,
maybe). Very loose and fertile stuff,
that!
For getting on three
decades, now, what's happened is militant conservatism and corrupt liberalism acting
in tandem to narrow the spectrum of American political discourse to the proverbial
needle's eyes of Michael Moore and Sean Hannity to distract the public from the
massive institutional corruption inherent everywhere. "Forbid real progress and you get
weirdness," admonished columnist Tom Teepen... "where
there should be exuberance in our diversity, there is instead the death of all
banter and social ease." Eric Rudolph, Osama and ELF... not Will Farrell,
or gumment subsonic death-ray pulses manufactured by
exploited reptilian aliens but that Earth Liberation Front as my bro' Austin
Tillerman keeps havin' to deny copulation with... are
only the visible, violent tip of that strange iceberg as contains, below the
waterline, an even stranger bevy of bedfellows (or, in PC-speak, bedpersons... bedbugs?).
Concomitant with the
PC’s is a willingness to assign collective guilt, when the outcome suits them… as
witness Israel’s desperate questing for nonagenarian German soldiers as were pardoned
by the milliards in 1946, given new uniforms and bayonets and pointed East
towards the U.S.S.R. These, now, need be
plucked out of their dotage and tried so as to maintain the Israeli victim
status in a time of embarrassing questions being asked about settlements in
Gaza and the West Bank. Or, on the other
hand, that same Peanut Gallery (as espouses Islamic superiority except for the
few rotten apples as practice rapes and beheadings) cheering on the attack on
Oklahoma fraternities en toto after a few chowderheads too busy to murder their pledges
with alcoholic overdoses sang songs about the nwords and were justifiably
sanctioned. (Perhaps the frat rank and
file were culpable, after all, of at
least a dim apprehension of public relations; the attorney that they hired was
the same guy as defended… tho’ not very well… the
Oklahoma militia bomber Timothy McVeigh in front of then-obscure Judge Merrick
Garland, he of the disrespected SCOTUS and subsequent resurrectory
AyGee appointments.) So, PC or not, fair or not, you’re likely to
be judged by the company you keep… consider Dilbert or Sharon Osborne re Piers
Morgan or that Atlanta police officer caught between the Chinese anti-racism
and female anti-violence lobbies for reporting on the still-confusing motive of
Robert Aaron Long, the devout Baptist massage parlor loser who killed Asian
women either because they were Asian or they were women.
Uh… he killed them
because they wouldn’t have sex with him and because were alive, where he
preferred that they weren’t!
No wonder America's distrust
of politics deepens every election and thereafter… current polls put
Congressional approval ratings somewhere around twelve, lower than those of
Trump or his basement-dwelling Democratic replacement (with a little help from
the inflation pumped up by Putin’s War)... not only are most "choices"
among flavors of relativistic mush, but existent radical "alternatives"
are promulgated by egomaniacal zealots, be they red, blue (the Old Red),
red-white-and-blue or watermelon (green on the outside, red within). Many
plague denialists as still crave dialogue and discourse with other humans have
turned to the anonymity of phone sex lines and anonymous Internet flames. Maybe
true multiculturalism's a tubercular mother of six in West Jonestown, Guyana pretending
to be Malibu Barbie, or a coughing fourteen year old with exploding zits passing himself
off as the junk bond e-broker, with a deal you can't refuse - just give him
your credit card numbers.
"There must be
a whole potential 'yuppie porn' industry out there, anticipated columnist Alice
Kahn, "a place where live nude investment counselors can talk of market dominance,
rising interest rates, stocks and bondage."
Call it politically incorrect
but, if I'm on an airline to or from Billings or Bangkok in July and a twitchy,
Middle-Eastern sort in an ankle-length overcoat bulging in funny places takes
the aisle seat next to me, boots up his laptop, coughs wetly and summons up one
of those kiddie-porn sites with funny, Middle-Eastern writing, I'm gonna eyeball
that mutha-suckah... all the way cross the pond, NPR
be damned.
'Less'n
the flight movie's "Terminator 5 - Final Judgment" (with that hairgel guy as stands in for the Guv'nator)
or something like that as will promote the sleep!
Update: @Sadly (or not) the memes and tropes and buzzwords of the year are,
like all fads, overtaken by newfangled nomenclature. Tho’ the specifics
probably vary, it is now apparent that political correctness is being consigned
to the dustbin, replaced by the new kid on the block, “woke” (as in everything
under the moon... for example, the Woke
Banks as have joined the Republican pantheorn of despicable dodgery. So we lift a toast (of something slimy with chai and liquefied kale) to the memory of P.C. (going, if
not already gone, but not forgotten).
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