SAVAGE SATURDAY

 

25)   Friday, February Fourteenth, Valentines’ Day: 4:54 PM – “Dirty Chinese Hands”

 

At the Research Division of the FCC, David Lee had become de facto bearer of bad tidings as the sources he’d cultivated all across the Upper Midwest called in.   As quitting time neared and changeover loomed less than a week away, followed by Super Weekend (with the Monday holiday), he was still on the phone, jotting down numbers and anecdotes flooding in from Lake Superior to shining Ontario.

          Grand Rapids on the line.  Whatcha got for me,” he asked, breathlessly... reaching for the last piece in a box of chocolates some underling seeking overplay had brought “…no I don’t want context, we know context.  Just the stats, ma’am… uh huh, eight sixty-three logged in the last hour, twelve process serve, seven terroristic threats referred to the FBI.  No I… well it’s better than an hour ago?  No?  Sorry… I was looking at Duluth figures. It’ll still blow over, so they say.”  He bit down, hard... it was one of those stale caramels nobody ever took.  “No, I am not reading from a script… and, no, I haven’t heard anything about the Commission going black... er, back.  No, ma’am, the President doesn’t set policy, FCC Manager Vernon Cooth does, and the Commission oversees the manager.  Do you need me to tell you that Vern is in a meeting, will be in meetings until July. We just collect the data, they act on it… well, thank you, too, bitch…”

          He hung up, stabbed at one of his hastily Xeroxed forms – and his pencil snapped.  To make matters worse, Chet McConnaghy loomed up over the wall of his cubicle…

          “Dallas was being picketed… someone called in a bomb threat and they had to evacuate.  Guys on the street started throwing punches and bottles… Jim Sparks wants to know if he should call the Governor to send in the Guard…”

          “What Guard,” David scoffed, “…they’re all still back on the Mexican border or one of those places with Zika.”

          McConnaghy hesitated.  “He uh… mentioned private security…”

          “Tell him I’ll pass it up the foodchain that he mentioned it… I know we’re already paying the Screaming Eagles a fortune; whether this would be covered… you’ll get back to him…”

          Chet stumbled off, but Mick approached from the other side, an eggroll from the Chinese New Years’ spread in the cafeteria dangling in his fingers.  His eyes were red… it seemed as if nobody had gotten much sleep overnight.

       “What’ve you got?” David snapped.

       “Florida.  Torched a Happy Dollar in Clearwater…”

       “They have ninety-nine cent hi-def worth looting?

          “Converters,” Mick said.  “So-called… actually, they were goin’ for eight bucks.  Most so-called dollar stores ain’t that anymore…”

       David nodded.  “And what were the odds those didn’t work?”

“Fire departments still rounding up their numbers,” Mick said, popping the remainder of the roll into his mouth and licking his lip.  “Amazing, but there isn’t any sort of database that doesn’t have to do with arson…”

“Who says this wasn’t arson?”  Mick pointed towards Kristi’s office, where the manager of Research had been on the phone all morning, except for a few minutes when a delegation from Homeland Security had checked in and, just as quickly, out again, rehearsing scenarios for the coming week.  Quentin Sills had collected requests for a meeting from David, Mick and just about every other member of the team.  “Really bad fire south of Jacksonville.  Whole apartment complex, twenty some dead, children… what you’re going to do is take all the calls between eleven-thirty Thursday night and about one-thirty, maybe ninety percent of them converter related.  A smaller spike between seven-thirty and about nine on Friday when the early birds who sacked out before midnight turn theirs on in the morning…”

          “Don’t worry,” David smiled.  “The media will do that for us soon enough.”  

          “The good news, if you can call it that,” Mick explained, “…way most of those bad boxes were set up, they’re just going to blow.  Except around a few places where some really bad shit came over from Canada… around Buffalo, Detroit, even Seattle; didn’t work but started generating heat and it took a while to flame up, go Samsung on us… what’s gonna explode has done so already or will, by the end of next week…”

          “Of course the locals have posted plenty of warnings, on the tube,” David replied, “not that anybody who needs them sees them.  They’re all over HBO, as if that’ll do any good.  Dragon Lady wants me in the dark, that’s why she cut Detroit out of my territory.  What’s up, Q-tip?” he added as Quentin Sills slithered past Mick towards the open space in David’s cubicle, crooking his finger…

          Dragon Lady wants you… pronto.”  He looked back, disdainfully, at Mick.  “Doesn’t want you…”

          David’s telephone rang again as he was pushing up out of his chair.  He slapped down a couple of files, let it ring and followed Chaine’s assistant to the executive offices, knocking.  No answer… and it was locked… so he said his name, as if seeking entry to a speakeasy.  After a few seconds, Kristi unlocked the door.  The office was a mess… there was a crude map of America on the wall, riddled with pushpins, thumbtacked over the fake Vermeer Jack Gobelman had hung, and hadn’t returned to claim....

          “Something about this place, makes people wanna lock their doors, my lovely Valentine…” David ventured.

          Kristi lifted a finger.  “Don’t!” and she pointed to the rickety French chair in front of the desk, which had only a few dozen files atop it.  “Sit!”  When he picked up the files, dropped them on the floor and sat, she went back behind the desk.  “I called you in to tell you what Vern wants done, and I expect you to tell every soul in this office… individually or as a group…”

       “Yeah?”

Kristi closed her eyes, opened them again… blue as frozen airline ice, David gauged.  “The changeover has been moved.”

“Praise Jesus!” David raised his eyes heavenward.

“It’s being moved back… back to six o’clock Thursday evening.  The tech people convinced Vern that there was too much danger of… well… malfunctions to have them do the deed at midnight.”

“By malfunctions,” David inquired, “do you mean explosions?  Fires?”

Kristi steepled her fingers.  “The official line is that we are blaming the terrorists.  Or cybercriminals.  Or the terroristic cybercriminals.  Don’t,” she pointed at him, again, “don’t laugh!”

“Do I look like I’m laughing?” David appealed.  “We’ve been anticipating explosions, fire, riots ever since the announcement… Homeland Security  estimates a coupla hundred dead so far, property damage in the billions, people madder ‘n hornets, and this is only the beginning.  Wait until those vengeful cheeseheads in Green Bay wake up to no football on Sunday, no watching all those felony cases in Oaktown dismantling the ‘Skins…”

“You mean Vegas?” Kristi needled.  “You don’t have to believe it, just say it.  Terrorists caused their sets to blow up…”

          David shrugged, then nodded.  “Hey, I’m old school.  Football, politics… I know President Rivers wants to start a war with Iran.  Maybe they should, take people’s minds off Iraq and Lebanon, Gaza and Ukraine.  But Iran didn’t make those boxes, Iran doesn’t make much of anything except noise.  Well, and oil, and goats, and crazy people.  These converters, well, the Chinese made ‘em.  And they have nuclear weapons.  And Oakland still rocks – always has, always will…”

          “That’s for the politicians to determine.  Were going to have a new, sane administration – some day – let them stop debating and fighting each other, take charge earn their keep!  All you do is come up with evidence that the terrorists are to blame…”

          “Even if the Chinese did have dirty hands, they’ll say that they were just going by specs that were drawn up by us truly…” and David trailed off, seeing that this particular crazy train had, long since, left the station.

       “And don’t make any plans for tonight.  Or the weekend.  Or especially next weekend,” Kristi added.

       “Really?”

 

 

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