SAVAGE SATURDAY

 

46)   Super Sunday: 1:00 – 1:30 AM  Willie Wonka’s Oily Factory!”

 

          The One World shops, with only glass frontage facing either the parking lot or corridors running north to south… as opposed to those where chainlink or full metal gates had been drawn over the windows… were falling to the mob.  Looters had pillaged Linens 2 Go and Roasted World Nuts… some stuffing cashews and pistachios into their cheeks like chipmunks before turning south towards the Parfumeríe and funeral home, or across the corridor to Deems’ Hardware.  A man (or vampire) who had clearly lost his mind guzzled wino plasma… straight, no vodka… out of a plastic envelope from the stab lab, one of many establishments largely left alone after the cash registers had been violated.  A handful of puzzled zombies drifted through Lester’s Likenesses and the Prescott Funeral Home and the bookstore was deserted too, except for a few excited teenagers thumbing through Playboys, Maxims and freshly minted copies of “The Anarchist’s Cookbook”…

Outside, by the loading dock, Jerry Eames from the local television station drove up through the mob at precisely the appointed time, expecting to be richly rewarded for all the free publicity afforded the franchise. To the amusement of at least fifty other shoppers, he beat his fists on the gates… and began to cry out: “We had a deal, motherfucker!  We had a deal!”

          One of the disgruntled, a fat man in camouflage and a hunter’s vest waved his dishonored receipt.  “We all had deals…”

          An older guy pointed to the newly arrived Screaming Eagle reinforcements, who’d poured out of their militarized bus, but remained at its perimeter in a bristling semicircle; weapons drawn, eyes anxiously scanning the angering multitude.  “It’s their fault…” a thin woman, one of only a few, pointed.

          In the Giga-Mart, rough hands hauled Earline out from under the register and ripped off her clothes.  Surrounded by men, mostly drunk or still swigging beer and wine, she bit one of the assailants in a sensitive spot as he sprawled atop her, causing him to fly off, howling.  As one of the fraternity boys replaced him, Jack Gobelman swigged champagne, threw the bottle aside and snatched a boxcutter from beneath the register. The screaming and laughter could be heard as far off as the petshop at the far Northwestern corner, opposite the Giga-Plex security door across the corridor.  Rev. Godwin, dragging his newly looted sixpack of  Busch like a dead cat, drifted aimlessly out the door and into the Food Court, under the chortling head of Ghede as the clock over the opposite portal struck one.  Humanitarian zombies rampaged through the pet shop, opening cages – releasing birds and cats and monkeys.  The glass enclosure of fluorescent rats was smashed, allowing dozens of unsold glowing Christmas rodents to scamper to freedom...

          On the opposite, Northeastern corner, other zombies were taunting the shepherds, dobes and pitbulls in Kearsey’s Kennels.  These fighting dogs, like humans, all seemed unhinged by the flashing lights and booming bass of the Dominator, still radiating apocalypse in synchronicity with the chaos behind the Giga-Plex gates.  Out of their minds with rage, they smashed their snouts against their cages, or lowered their heads, panting, waiting for their time to come around…

          Still holding their beer – and a canister of beef jerky – Alpha, Moonface and Shorty backed out of Giga-Mart with hesitant steps and whitened faces.  “Dude,” Shorty grimaced, “he was like… he… I don’t think I’m ever gonna forget…”

          “Just forget,” Alpha ordered, despite the churning in his own stomach.  “Dude was psycho.  We weren’t there, we aren’t here!”

          “What about cameras?” Moonface worried.  “They got cameras in those places, up on the roof.  They might have caught us on film…”

          “Video!” Shorty corrected him.

          “Then they’ll see it was the old guy, not us.  We don’t know the dude,” Alpha sighed.  “We were just in there to buy beer but, if anybody asks, we lost the receipts…”

          “I wanna go back to the house,” Shorty wailed…

          “Yeah.  Yeah,” Alpha determined, “but, first…”

 

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On the floor of Giga-Plex, Mark Tenison whistled for attention.

“Alright, it’s past one… everybody’s clocked out as of now.  Long day today, another long day tomorrow… today… Departmental managers and all security, you’ll stay behind while we sort out what’s to be done tomorrow.  Everyone else… we’ll evacuate through the fire door in my office.  I want an orderly line, seniors and women first, guests, temporary then staff…”

          As the crowd migrated into the storage space… poundings and cries resonating from beyond the metal doors to the loading dock… then towards the manager’s office (with the Dixieland band playing a sardonic “Hit the Road, Jack!” as they marched), Kristi, David and Vern were accosted by Big Sonny, vowing retaliation for the Chief Executive’s speech, three hours ago.  “I’m probably going to lose fifteen, twenty million in sales tomorrow, nationwide, thanks to your leaning on the President to give in to that mob…”

          “Not me!” Vern reacted instantly and then trained a long, thin finger on David and Kristi.  “It was them… those two, and a couple others… if all those bums with their cheap old unmod sets didn’t have agents on the inside, they would never have risen up.”

          All that David Lee could do was laugh.  In fact, he and Kristi had spent the last half hour contemplating the process and particulars of their own suit against the Commission and its renegade Manager to be filed once the sun came up on Monday.  “Yeah, Vern, blame me.  Of course that announcement was fucked up, but what’s goin’ down so far was just the appetizer… do you realize what thirty million people not watchin’ the game tonight could’ve been capable of…”

          “A lot of damage…” Kristi exclaimed.

          “Yeah, but when they come to their senses this morning… or, well, afternoon… where do you think they’d have had to go to replace all the stuff that they destroyed?  To you, Sonny, that’s where… who… aw fuck… you gotta get that band to shut up, they’re not helping…”

          Sabra Martin had stopped dancing, honing in on Ray and Honey, who’d drifted off to the side of the line converging on Tenison’s office.

          “Word’s out that you’re a candy… man…” she purred.

          Word’s gonna get his tongue ripped up out by the roots, spreadin’ words like that… but yeah, I can give you a taste…” Ray allowed, “seein’ as we’re all in this together.”

          “We’re gonna score a lot of candy…” said an ebullient Honey.

“Your name Word?” Ray snapped back at her.  “You want me to get Mark’s bullhorn and that fuckin’ whistle, so’s them as still don’t know here hear?”

          He looked Sabra Martin over more closely… a tweaker, no doubt, but she seemed to have the right combination… strong body, weak mind… and she’d be far away, inaccessible, when the bikers from Oil Change Charlie started looking up snitches to lead them to potential suspects…

          “You wanna make a little money?” he said.

          “Doesn’t everybody?”

          And Honey, suddenly less ebullient, complained: “Why do we have to have her along?”

          “To haul more candy out of Willie Wonka’s oily factory, down there; carry it upstairs and put it in my Explorer… and, also,” he smiled, “because, since you already told her, either she’s in or else I have to waste her…”

          Sabra smiled back, as if she didn’t take the threat seriously, which irked Honey all the more.  “Why your Explorer?” she whined.  “Isn’t my Corolla good enough?”

          “That tiny rice-burnin’ block o’shit?  ‘Cause I know how to move the merchandise and not get caught.  You want payoff in candy that you’d rather move yourself, well, that can be arranged…”

          “A little of both would be nice…” Sabra mused.

          Ray, of course, had no intention of paying the girls off in candy, cash or anything more valuable than lead.  But he favored Sabra and Honey with a big smile, and even managed to pat both on the back.

          “That’s the spirit.  Of course there is one little problem; to get to where we’re going, we have to go down below.  It’ll be dark, won’t smell very good… full of little things that bite…”

          “Long as there ain’t no more of those fools outside!  How do we get around them?” Sabra asked, jabbing at her cellphone and then frowning when the screen revealed: “No signal!”

          “Like I said, we go down.  There’s a trapdoor in the janitor’s room… some tunnels they use once every few years when somethin’ goes wrong with the boilers…”

          “And you’ve been down there?”

          “As far as a certain door in the vicinity of Charlie’s.  Which necessitates this…” Ray couldn’t help boasting as he removed a box of Altoids from his pocket.

          Honey reached for it.  “I could use something to freshen up my breath… mind?”

          Ray jerked it away, but with a smile.  “You don’t want to put this stuff in your mouth.  The Double-oh-Seven Club is not the only spy shop operating in Ray’s ‘hood.”

 

¾        ¾        ¾

 

Uncle Raoul angrily wheeled the big Lincoln into the One World parking lot, dodging its looters, shooters and curiosity seekers.  There were already many vehicles afire and… since it stood to reason that persons disappointed by Raoul’s converters might be here, looking to recoup their losses by any means necessary… he’d tried to disguise himself under a baseball cap pulled down almost to his eyes, a jacket borrowed from Westy, unbeknownst, collar hiked up, and wraparound shades.  Finding a space, he trotted quickly through the lot, stepping lightly over a couple of the bodies lying or writhing on the pavement, knifing his way through the pushing, fighting shoppers.  The unprotected exterior plate glass of Lester’s Likenesses had been smashed and, since most of those entering and exiting were using the pet store, title pawn and vacant CD store far to the north, he stepped through the glass and into a strange, silent world of white statues.  A couple of display models had been knocked over and smashed… some others spraypainted or, even, crayoned… and the headless and legless effigy of a bald, bosomy lady lay in the interior doorway as if some myopic pervert had tried to drag it out, then given up.

          From this doorway, Raoul could see down the corridor, including both the armoured-up Giga-Plex and ravaged Giga-Mart… also, a constant stream of looters charging in and out of that latter store.  Reverend Godwin stumbled by – oblivious to Raoul, as to all others, even some of those who’d followed him up from Nakonset Park and, now, rewarded the Reverend with cheery greatings, merry waves and high-fives.  He passed the still-gated liquor store and looted Roasted World, finally lurching into the bookstore, where a few bloody, bedraggled zombies were thumbing through popular tomes and popular magazines – they glanced at his collar with ironic detachment, then returned to their reading. 

          “Says here,” a bearded zombie dangling a paperback assailed a fat woman – probably a trannie, Godwin noted, riffling through Hollywood scandal rags – “that the true believers have so little ballast, they have to suck in another human being to keep from flying away…”

          “I hate vampire movies,” the fat lady snarled, “Ashton Kutcher is so much more reliable…”

          “This isn’t Dracula,” Beardo spat, showing the cover of Ernest Becker’s “The Denial of Death” to Godwin as, perhaps, a neutral observer as he declaimed:  “The hero… or schizophrenic… transcends death only through complete personal servitude to… to…”

          Even this far off, the Reverend could hear Evan Augsberg – booming through the metal gates surrounding Giga-Plex.  He popped the top of his last looted beer, waved off the literary debaters, saying “I am, also, very, very tired…” and, finding a quiet niche behind a rack of self-help paperbacks… most having to do with diets or relationships… he scattered a few handfuls over the floor to make a nest, lay down and promptly fell asleep.

         

 

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