SAVAGE SATURDAY

 

61)   Super Sunday, 2/19:  5:10 – 5:20 AM  The Goblin Returns!”

 

The explosions in Deems’ Hardware and Oil Change Charlie’s burst the other safe concealed within the candy machine in the latter’s office that Ray, the girls and Dusty had failed to find; a toxic but exhilarating cloud of designer drug petrochemicals, vaporized human flesh and semi-pharmaceutical quality methamphetamine blowing hundred dollar bills before it while fluorescent rats scampered and wounded, wheezing zombies crawled beneath the death cloud through the catwalks and corridors of One World.  After passing the crazy man atop the big, black laughing head, Craig Synch and Vicki Gordon edged back along the catwalks to the south and west, away from Deems and towards the corridor fronting the row of shops comprising that quadrant of the One World Mall.  Away from Giga-Plex, overlooking establishments that had already been pillaged, they were all but alone, and able to look downwards into each and assess their chances…

          Craig guided Vicki away from the nearest door.  “Too many wackos from the liquor store still hanging ‘round Roasted World,” he shook his head.

          “What would all those nuts be doing in a nut store?” Vicki asked, still favoring her ankle.

          “I think it’s like… you know… if you drink a lot of beer, you wanna eat something salty.  Pretzels, peanuts…”

          “What do you know about drinking beer?  You’re what… sixteen?” Vicki frowned.

          “Seventeen.  I got a brother, your age… he’s got fake ID, a good one…”

          The pain forced Vicki to lean on Craig’s shoulder as they limped south along the rails.  “Is he cute?  Your brother?”

          “Oh yeah… an’ he’s also engaged,” Craig punctured that balloon.  “To a major slut.  With a motorcycle…”

          Next up was the House of Time, but… as Craig ventured a peek through the catwalk door… one of about a dozen very angry-looking men (and three even meaner women) looked up and fired a shot at him…

“Get off our turf, motherfucker…” snarled a balding mountain of slag with a dozen watches interspersed among the tattoos on his bare arm.

“Like those guys,” Vicki pointed, wincing.  “Her?”

          Craig backed off.  That ain’t gonna work.  Too many expensive Rolexes and Fauxlexes there, draws a mean crowd… can you keep moving?”

          “If I ignore the pain.  Guess I’m stuck with you, then…” Vicki sighed.

          “Hey, it ain’t so bad.  Lotta older women dig younger guys, it’s cool now,” Craig assured her, “…Demi and Ashton, Madonna and what’s-his-name.  Those high school teachers…”

“They’re all divorced.  I meant,” Vicki explained, “I’ll have to lean on your sorry, juvenile ass… arm, I mean… until we get out of here.  Nothing more.  What about the bookstore?” she suggested.

          Craig opened the door and a blast of hot, smoky air assailed them.  He looked briefly downwards, then closed the door.

          “Nobody inside.  But it’s on fire, bad… and there’s too much smoke down there, around the pizza joint…”

          “What’s next, the perfume place?”

          “Don’t remember – something else, I think…”

          “Doesn’t perfume burn?” Vicki worried.

          Craig forced the catwalk door open and looked down into I. Prescott’s funeral home.  It was partitioned off by walls rising up halfway to the roof into a reception area (with a blown-out window and looted cashbox on the floor) and a half a dozen small showrooms, full of caskets, artificial floral displays, bronze and marble monuments… accessible by one of the ubiquitous yellow ladders leading down into a tiny, ransacked office.

          “What a crummy place to be lying dead in,” Vicki wrinkled her nose.

          “Looks empty, not on fire,” Craig ventured.  “And it’s our only way out.  Can you climb down?  I’ll go first, if it hurts too much, you can put your foot on top of my head awhile…”

          “That’s… freaky…” giggled the cashier.

          “Freaky, that’s my middle name.  I may be young, but I know things…” Craig boasted.

          “Like…”

          “Like how we get out of here alive…”

 

¾        ¾        ¾

 

If the television display were nearer the loading dock, the mob pouring into Giga-Plex through the stockroom wall might’ve massed there, choosing and fighting over the remaining electronic merchandise, but, as it was still on the eastern wall, the zombies had a no-man’s-land to cross and… at first… were brought up short by gunfire from the handful of employees and security who’d confiscated arms from fallen privateers.  The less-demented in the throng fanned out through Appliantology – those with even more sense, or firearms of their own, taking shelter behind the smart furniture and washer-dryer combos.  Most of those without either were quickly caught in a crossfire.  Two zombies shot, but not quite killed… one by Tatlinger, behind his desk in the tech and credit tent, one from behind by a Screaming Eagle who’d escaped the loading dock with just a few cracked ribs… collapsed on the Moondreams smart bed, inciting it to a rambling jumble of conflicted medical advice, rising and falling in synchronicity with the plaintive cries of Henry, the robot, now reduced to an aggressive “I help you… help you…”

          Two hungry rats, one saffron and domesticated, the other wild and brown, had discovered and attacked such remains of Leland Buford Sonnenschein as poked out from under the ruined Dominator, circling the tragic scene, lapping up blood and nibbling at Big Sonny’s exposed fingers and brains.  Indifferent, even impervious to the fires fore and aft, Mark-Down Mark Tenison prowled his shrinking domain - a gold-vested Ahab, waving his empty gun and screeching at the world and Captain Capps, who’d taken up a position (with Rifleman Stu) behind a cruciform, chest-high display of converter boxes marked up from $189.99 to $195.95.

          “Alright!  Alright, you cowardly bastards… you win!  You…” Tenison shouted to Capps as bullets whistled past his scalp, “unlock the south Fire Door, Mark-down Mark won’t.  You’n the rest of your yellow-bellied deserters… get your asses out of my store and run back to Waco.  Git!”

          He whirled, aiming at a pair of terrified, white-haired cashiers hiding behind a register but, with the gun already empty, they remained alive… trembling and muttering prayers.  Then, Mark hurled his ring of keys at the Eagles’ impromptu shelter south of the television henge, cruelly letting it fall short, obligating the Captain to make a dangerous dash to retrieve them - making up his mind in the process, Capps slapped Stu on the shoulder.

          “Cover me!  I’m gonna open that fire door…”

          “Are we extricating?” Stu parried…

          “Soon as I get these civilians out of here.  That nut,” and he pointed his weapon towards the raving, strutting Manager… “he can stay behind and be a hero…”

       Rifleman Stu nodded.  Ain’t nobody here left to sign our paychecks…”

       “There will be lawyers…” Capps predicted.

          And with that inevitability stated, Lester crabwalked back through the razor-pointed satellite dishes and tuners, then alongside the registers nearest the security booth.  Fortunately, the fire door was by the nearby Exit, not the more distant Entrance… even more fortunately, most of the invaders had let their weapons sag unless fired upon - awed and overcome by the strange luxuries now at hand, theirs for the snatching.  Slim and Easy, for example, had taken cover in the 007 Club – finding plenty of exotic weaponry left behind by Capps and Westy

          Lookit these…” Easy pointed.

          Nunchakas…”

          “Nuns use these?  Damn!” Easy swore.  “I knew them Catholic schools were tough, but…”

          “Not that kinda nuns.  From chop-socky movies,” Slim educated his companion with a few gestures…  “Bruce Lee!  Jackie Chan!”

          Easy, losing interest, tossed them aside.  “Not good enough.  They got guns, we got nuns?  What’s those?”

          He pointed to a box under the counter, covered in Chinese writing with the sole English word: “Grenades”.  Slim brightened…

          “Oh, they’s fun,” he grinned.  “Big fun…”

          Capps removed the padlock from the fire door in the metal gate… the visitors and Giga-Plex employees dutifully lining up, crouching behind registers as Rifleman Stu, two remaining Eagles, three GP security guards and a handful of staff… Jurgen and Sammy from 007 (each wielding a samurai sword), Tatlinger (his sleeves rolled up, cigar jutting from his mouth), one of Big Sonny’s clowns with paramilitary fantasies to go with his lethal armaments, Anjelika and, for what it would be worth, Mark Tenison, re-invigorated after confiscating a loaded Sig Sauer from a dead looter, lay down a sporadic covering fire.  One of the Giga-guards potshotted a kid thumbing through the scattered game cartridges and Capps looked up, barking…

          “Don’t waste ammo!  If they’re not hurting us, don’t hurt them…”

          Mark Tenision jumped to the defense of his dead employer’s property.  “They’re stealing…” he insisted, truculently…

          “Let the lawyers and insurance people sort it out.  Besides, you got ‘em on tape…”

          Capps pointed upwards to the surveillance cameras and Tenison smiled, in spite of himself, then snarled and pointed at one of the looters straddling a stanchion, removing a surveillance camera with a screwdriver.

          “Hey!  Hey!”

          The guy grinned back and actually waved before Mark shot at him, missing.  Shaking his head, Capps motioned for the employees to exit, warning those who’d not already shed their vests to do so.  The One World Mall now resembled nothing so much as the tail end of a poorly-organized and policed parade… loot and litter scattered indiscriminately, empty liquor bottles, a handful of dazed people wandering around.  Vern Cooth tried to squeeze out ahead of Rae and Crystal, the Giga-Grrrlz, and David held him back…

          “Let the ladies go first…”

          “They ain’t ladies.” Cooth spat, venomously.  “And get your hands off me or I’ll have you up on assault charges…”

          David sighed.  “Go fuck yourself, Vern.  I don’t work for you anymore, and, pretty soon, you won’t even be working for yourself.”

          Marko Mosrovich, pockets bulging with iPods and prepaid cellphones, squeezed out with the Grrrlz, Rae and Crystal, scampering into the Promenade where only one vehicle… the much-battered classic Caddy… continued ramming the gate.  Marko hailed the driver…

          Back door’s open. Everybody’s in what’s goin’ in already.  Goin’ shopping…”

          The driver was a kid with a shock of dirty blond hair over one eye and the demented glare of a methedrine manchild on a mission.  And now… nothing.  He backed off with a horrible, grinding noise.  “Ah, fuck…”

          “Give us ride out back, I give you iPod…” Marko waved the forbidden fruit before the hayseed’s eyes…

          The driver glanced from the iPod to the Grrrlz.  “OK, get in, I take you round back… hurry!  Then we all go home and parr- tee!…

          Three fighting dogs who’d been rooting around in the remains of Petworld trotted back, then charged at the sight of more two-legged prey.  Marko and the Grrrlz slammed the Caddy doors, so the dogs changed direction, lunging after the next trio to leave… Vern, David and Kristi…

          David pointed.  “Oh shit…”

          Vern, as ever, had a solution.  “Run!”

They took off towards the Food Court, hellhounds on their heels, and David vaulted the counter at Baffler, helping Kristi up.  Vern turned to see if the dogs were behind him… and they were!  Iggy’s “baby”, Brunhilde, sank her teeth into his calf, hamstringing the FCC Manager, the others were on him in a flash, tearing at his eyes, throat, his flailing hands…

          David pointed upwards, now, towards Ghede bulging eyes.  “Don’t look!  Climb!”

          Needing no further prompting, Kristi grabbed a jagged tooth in the lower jaw of the laughing, shaking head, and pulled herself upwards.  Ghede’s mouth was a human-sized cave, full of electronics and the biggest, loudest speakers she’d ever heard… the din was hellish and she jumped up instinctively, grasping the laughing Haitian Orisha by its nose and wriggling upwards.  David leaped after her and Brunhilde after him, sinking her teeth through his shoe and into his heel.  Kicking desperately, David sent shoe and dog flying off onto the Baffler’s griddle, still hot.  As the dog howled in pain and frustration, recoiling from the griddle in a shower of hot grease and meat pie detritus, he followed his supervisor into Ghede’s bellowing mouth, shouting at Kristi who shouted, inaudibly, back, pointing to her ears and motioning for him to give her a lift up.  Spreadeagled across the icon’s nose, she averted her head as red, electric flames issued from its eyes, then crawled upwards, finally grasping two handfuls of the plastic thatch that passed for hair, while David fruitlessly pulled wires in the mouth in a fruitless attempt to cut off the noise.

          Kristi pulled herself up atop the statue, only to meet the crazed eyes of… Jack Gobelman!

          “Fancy meeting you here…” said her predecessor.

          Goblin lacked the reciprocity of a taser, but he did have an empty wine bottle and cracked his hated tormentor across her skull.  As David Lee, down below, shouted out: “Kristi!”…barely audible in the interstices between Ghede’s bellowingsGobelman hoisted his evil successor over his shoulder, then up to a catwalk less than a yard above the top of the big, plastic head, pulled himself up, too, and began to drag Kristi towards the larger passage above the Promenade, turning east, away from the blazing, propane-fueled inferno of Deems Hardware and towards the eastern tier of shops past Kravjak’s and the Fairplayground.  David Lee finally spotted him dragging Kristi towards the door above the 1910 Ice Cream Shoppe and began climbing himself, blood now dripping from his heel to the hot griddle, but… even with the fighting dogs distracted by the meat pies and corpses littering the floor of the Food Court… half a dozen highly intoxicated zombies tugging suitcases of beer lurched out of Giga-Mart and, for reasons known only to them, if that, mounted the Baffler countertop to climb after him.

          “Give it up!” one cried out,

          “Give what?” he shot back.

 

 

 

¾  ¾  ¾  ¾  ¾  ¾  ¾  ¾  ¾  ¾  ¾

 

VISIT THESE OTHER GENERISIS SERIAL ABOMINATIONS…

 

THE GOLDEN DAWN      BLACK HELICOPTERS

MEMP’IS!